“When you come to the edge of all of the light you know, and are about to step off into the darkness of the unknown; faith is knowing one of two things will happen. There will be something solid to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly.” – (Based on original quote by Edward Teller)
When I was a teenager, and living in a boarding school for my final year of high school, I had a poster on the wall by my bed with the above quote. It has been my guiding mantra ever since.
I can think back to many times in life, where I have come to a crossroads, or up against a challenge, that required a leap of faith. Sometimes that meant leaving a job that was no longer working for me, stepping into a career that was completely out of my comfort zone, or travelling to another country on my own. More recently, it has meant moving a couple of times to places I have either never been to before or don’t know anyone.
I have learned over the years to trust my inner compass. I know when I trust that inner voice, especially when the message is clear and there is a strong pull to act (or to wait), that it never steers me in the wrong direction. Sometimes, it can feel like jumping off a cliff without a parachute, but I have learned to trust that when I follow the voice and take that leap of faith, I am taken care of.
A few years ago, before I moved away from the city where I lived most of my life, I had a series of visions that I was to visit a sacred site, that I regularly frequented, one last time. It felt really important that I carry this out and I received instruction as to what was to happen when I travelled to this place. As that time grew closer, I made plans to go with some friends.
To reach this site, it was about an hour and a half from the city where I lived, and then a two-hour hike off the road, through the forest and away from any civilization. The idea of doing this alone filled me with fear: fear of an encounter with bears, cougar, or wolves, or getting hurt and no one being able to find me.
The weekend this journey was to take place, I started to have an uneasy feeling that some of the plans would fall through, and yet I knew with everything in me that I had to go regardless. Early in the morning, prior to going, I received a message that my friends were unable to join me, and they wished me well on my journey. I suddenly felt this huge knot of fear in the pit of my stomach. I thought of messaging another friend that lived close by where this trail was located, but I decided it was too last minute and the chance of me reaching her would be slim. I decided to carry on with my plans on my own, determined to complete what I was being called to do.
I drove to the beginning of the trail. There were other vehicles parked there, mostly hunters, I thought. I got out of my car and gathered together what I wanted to bring with me and began my journey.
The trail starts on the other side of a bridge that lies over a waterfall. This was a very special place for me. There is a song I learned that I liked to sing to the water whenever I had the opportunity, so I began to sing to the river as I stood on the bridge facing in the direction of the flow of the river. I started sobbing and was struggling get the words out. I knew this would be my last visit to this place. It was like saying goodbye to a close family member. This river has mothered me and was a powerful place of healing for me.
Once I had completed the song, offered tobacco and left a gift on the bridge, I carried on with my journey. I was focused on the task I was to complete and with determination, I entered into the forest on the trail. I held my keys in my hand, jingling them as I walked to alert any animals in the area of my presence. I was certain they wouldn’t hear me as it was a windy day.
I passed a couple of hunters coming off the trail, and heard others off in the distance, but otherwise, I was alone. I walked along for maybe 45 minutes or so, and suddenly noticed a small group of people off in the distance. At first, I was a bit uncertain to approach them as I was alone and we were in the middle of the forest. As I got closer, I recognized one of the women in the group. She was the friend I thought of messaging that morning! She and a few friends were also on there way to this sacred site.
This meeting was a gift for me, saying “You faced your fear and following through with what you were being called to carry out, so you don’t need to go the rest of the way on your own.” For this group, my appearance was a gift because I had a key to the gate to get into the site, so they didn’t need to figure out another way of entering.
The move I made a few years ago, was another moment of answering a call. I moved to an area I had never been to before. Aside from my sister and sister-in-law, I knew no one. I moved without a job to go to or place to live. I trusted whatever was needed would show up for me and it did. It wasn’t without challenge but everything worked out in the end. I didn’t know why I was being called to be there, but I knew there was something important to do. Slowly what I was there to do, revealed itself, and the task was completed.
A couple of years ago, before the start of the pandemic, I started feeling the pull to move to Vancouver Island, where I currently live. My plan to visit and feel into what was calling me were put on hold for over a year. I kept waiting for the signal that it was time to move.
One day last summer, some random conversations triggered plans to visit the Island. During my visit I drove to different areas to feel into where I was meant to end up. I knew I would be moving but I wasn’t getting a strong sense if the area I thought I would be moving to was the right place. When I got home, I got the clear message it was time to move, and the area I was to move to completely shifted.
I began looking for a place to live, coming across many people talking about how hard it was to find a place. I pushed that out of my thoughts as I knew, if I was meant to be there, something would show up for me. Weeks went by and still nothing presented itself. I had a strong knowing that I was to move by the beginning of October, 2021 again not knowing, why that was so important. I trusted that. As the time drew closer that I would need to give notice where I was living, I became fearful, and full of anxiety considering different options that presented themselves to me. I was afraid of turning them down and having no place to live, and afraid of taking those options and it not being the right fit.
The day came that I needed to give notice and I still had no where to move to. Again, I was being asked to step into the unknown and have faith that I would be cared for. I trusted that voice and gave notice. Within a couple of days, a couple of offers came forward, one of which was better than I could have ever imagined.
Once again, I moved to a place where I knew no one (at least in the immediate area) and with complete trust knew that this is where I was meant to be. I have so much gratitude for where I have landed and for the beauty, I witness around me everyday.
A month and a half after I moved, I understood why there was such a sense of urgency for me to move when I did. Aside from not wanting to travel through the mountains once the snow arrived, on November 15th heavy rains washed out and closed highways and caused massive flooding that would have prevented me from moving had I waited.
My motivation for writing this today, is to remind myself of what I have come through to get where I am today, and maybe, inspire someone else at the same time. Once again, I am in a place of being challenged, at times feeling like I am teetering on the edge of a cliff, and being called to trust and know that I am cared for. This time it isn’t another move that is calling, it is simply to trust that I am where I am meant to be, whatever is required will show up, and what I desire to create for myself or something even better than I can imagine, is already within my field and that I am worthy of it.
Time and time again, I have been shown this to be true. There is a point when one taps into their Divinity (connection to Source, God, Creator, or Higher Self), and drops into their heart, that is sometimes called the Still Point or Point of Perfect Balance. In this place, one feels completely merged with Source and a part of the All and Nothingness. This is the point of Creation. I was reminded today that being in gratitude helps to get there when there are moments of anxiety around the uncertainty of what lies ahead. It allows me to shift into a space of trust, and the expansiveness of creation and manifestation. It is being in complete surrender and fully in the present. Afterall, this moment is all I have.
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Leah Schroeder is an Energy Healer and Holistic Practitioner trained as a Reiki Master, Integrated Energy Therapy® Master-Instructor, and ThetaHealing® Practitioner and studies as an Integrated Herbalism Apprentice, www.lifeforceholisticservices.com. “I was born and raised in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. For most of my life this has been the place I call home. I now live in Ladysmith, British Columbia. I spent 17 years working in Financial Services. A strong sense that there is something more I am supposed to do in the world, a fascination with energy and a series of intuitive nudges have led me to down the path of energy healing. I have a desire to collaborate with others to help shift the consciousness of humanity. I am grateful for the opportunity to share my thoughts and stories with you.”