Am I Still Welcome at Your Table?

Photo by Leah Schroeder

For the past year and a half, I have played the observer, silently watching and listening to what is happening around me.  I see a world that has become polarized, driven by fear on both ends of the spectrum.  I have felt the harshness of the words I hear like daggers in my heart.  I have done my best to hold humanity with love.  It has been a challenging task when I have felt the need to protect my own heart. I feel sad about how divided we have become and at the same time I am in acceptance of it as a process that is shifting humanity to a higher frequency.

Over a year ago, when the news began to talk about a “V” and the potential of mandating it around the globe, within every fiber of my being the words, “No, that is not going in my body” rang through my consciousness.  I am not meant to get this “V”.  That voice deep inside is my compass, my guiding light.  I trust it with everything in me.  It never fails me.  What is true for me may not be true for you.  You have your own compass to follow.

Last spring, I had the intuitive knowing that at some point it may be mandated at the place where I was employed.  I knew I didn’t want to be there when that time came.  I am grateful to have had the opportunity to move on into a situation where I work for myself and am not in a position where I could potentially lose my job as a result of my choice, like so many are facing today.

I was on a Zoom call recently where I was possibly the only one who had not had the “V”.  The conversation turned to talking about the passports being mandated and certain restrictions being put in place around their use.  There appeared to be a lot of support for these changes.  I wasn’t able to find the words to respond at the time.  How do I respond to the fact that I will now no longer be able to do the same things others around me are free to do and what that feels like?  How far will those restrictions be taken to attempt to force me into compliance?  Yes, I made a choice, and for me it wasn’t an option to make any other choice.  I also recognize that I am in a place of privilege to have the option.  Am I to be penalized for not conforming to what society around me is expecting of me?  Am I a danger or a threat?  Is that really true or is that the simply the narrative that is being presented? 

Please know that I am very aware there are people getting sick and dying.  I feel the grief and pain of those who have lost loved ones or watched them struggle.  I have family and friends who have compromised immune systems who live in fear of what could happen to them.  I see communities in fear as cases rise.  I am aware of the many healthcare workers who are overworked and burning out.  I hold them all with love and compassion in my heart.

My choice to live in alignment with my highest good and exercise my divine sovereignty, is out of love for myself and for humanity.  Sovereignty is about honouring choice.  Even deeper than that, it is about being in alignment with who we are at the core of our being, at our essence.   It may be seen as selfish, but choosing to trust my inner knowing and loving myself first allows me to show up more fully and authentically for others.  It is about living in integrity with who I am called to be in this world.

Whether you feel deeply that taking the “V” was the right choice for you, or like me, you feel that taking the “V” was not the right choice, I love and honour you.   If your choice to take it or not was made out of fear for yourself or others, I love, honour, and have compassion for you.  If you know the choice was made out of fear and not in alignment with your truth, have compassion for yourself.  We are all doing our best to navigate this world.

I invite you to reflect on what I have shared.  When you read my words are you in judgement of the choices I have made?  Does it trigger fear or anger in you?  Are you able to respect me for living in integrity with my truth even if the choices I make are uncomfortable for you?  Am I still welcome at your table as I was before all this began? I will continue to love you either way.

I have faith in humanity that we will find our way to bridge the divide and to navigate this world in a peaceful, loving way, whatever challenges we face along the road.  We are at a crossroads and how we choose to be in relationship with each other will determine what kind of world we create in the future.  


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Leah Schroeder is an Energy Healer and Holistic Practitioner trained as a Reiki Master, Integrated Energy Therapy® Master-Instructor, and ThetaHealing® Practitioner and studies as an Integrated Herbalism Apprentice,  “I was born and raised in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. For most of my life this has been the place I call home.  I now live near Castlegar, British Columbia. I spent 17 years working in Financial Services.  A strong sense that there is something more I am supposed to do in the world, a fascination with energy and a series of intuitive nudges have led me to down the path of energy healing. I have a desire to collaborate with others to help shift the consciousness of humanity.  I am grateful for the opportunity to share my thoughts and stories with you.”