Leap of Fate


As my mind flashes back to my early childhood, I was filled with unanswered questions…and unresolved issues.   No surprise there!

I was raised within a deeply Irish Catholic background, by parents who believed a forced march to church would do my soul good. So my faith growing up was riddled with questions— “If God was a God of love, why so much fear & suffering?”

I was constantly seeking a voice of reason, that reached back for many years, but my questions were  consistently met with a trip to the principal’s office or a stern suggestion that I ask the “Monsignor”.  The more enlightened response was for me “To be quiet & listen so I could learn.”

I do believe there are angels and helpers along the way, but they can’t do the work for me. The rest is up to me because of the gift of freewill.

In search of deeper pastures, I started to seek pleasure and thrills as a way to feel good about myself. I was actually all mind, so lost in some abstract area of thought and worry that I was unaware of anything outside of it. Which lead me to running into the arms of people who I thought were my saviors.

I sought answers through others, a step that I would come to regret.    How can you feel anything at all when your emotional  and physical bodies are tied in knots. All the while I was thinking, “If it hurts I must be learning something from this”. I was praying that nothing is lost and that meant that finding my way home required a spirit of adventure.

In time, I was surprised to find that sitting still can be a profound adventure if you are present and inquisitive. After one glimpse of this insight, I desired more. Now with all my heart, I wanted  to live in that one moment again. I started to see myself as deserving, especially while  gleaning from those who were at peace with themselves. That glimpse embodied we are truly made in God’s image a regular spark off the ole block.

It was only after a very tumultuous divorce, that my attention shifted to a frightening but beautiful  understanding. That all along what I had been looking for was right there.  Just like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, all she had to do was believe and click her heels.

For me that was the game changer.  I started gaining more insights, although I meditated occasionally over the years I was ready to kick it up a notch.  I started to practice discipline in meditation, at least that is what I thought was to happen.

Now it seemed the harder I tried to be still, I was anything but!  As  I meditated, thinking how cool it was to meditate, my mind was calling back, “you’re not meditating yet”,  in a mocking tone. I was determined to get that glimpse once again.  By confining myself to a predictable range of experience I often failed to come in contact with ways of being, that might be more fitting to my soul’s journey. In other words its easier  to play it safe.

One day while in prayer I asked, “God, if I am yours please show me the way!”, while wondering if the question of my “soul’s purpose” might fade into oblivion. If I don’t hear it do I have another chance? Or will my higher self just keep at Me until I do?

After great losses within a 5 year period, I now have come to SURRENDER.

I found myself wanting to go out and “be” in nature.  It was nature that softened the edges. I felt at home there for the first time. There I felt compelled to sit still and just feel.  It was there I was soon aware of the heartache and pain of having to forgive myself and others. One morning at sunrise, it” dawned” on me that it is the reason for my going only so far on my spiritual search. I had to do the authentic work of facing and forgiving. I am having to look in my own reflection and not look away and to be real in my forgiveness.  Once there, this cross-examining went on for some time until all that was left was COMPASSION.

By listening to my heart,  I started to breathe. All along I had been holding my breath, not even knowing it. In essence I had to breathe myself back to life!

I was at a point then that I can feel all the people who ever cared for me living or transitioned, were celebrating this soul-propelling decision.  For the first time, I felt sure “Why” I was here.  Here to LOVE myself, to LOVE others no matter what, and to do so with a GRATEFUL heart knowing what a gift that is.

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Born in New Orleans, near the bayou’s, my life so enriched with music, and food and all the patois the atmosphere offered.

I felt infused with all the beauty of life, so it was an easy transition to dive into a creative lifestyle.

I was the protege of a very famous photographer, that taught me the principles as well as aesthetics of art through the lens of the camera. As I grew in my creative capacities, I decided to “go west”, to Texas to develop my skills as a commercial artist.

During this time I had a profound shift in consciousness. I was lead to start teaching art to children and young adults. Drawing inspiration from “Drawing from the Right side of the Brain”.

The natural step from there was to incorporate my artwork into spiritual venues. I started to paint more intimate portraits for CD”s and illustrate books.

All the while hearing a whisper of a truer calling out of the distractions of modern life. I am on an inner journey to discover my soul’s purpose. To listen to and follow our soul’s guidance in the midst of life. Kimberley Huxen

 

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Less than Three


I was asked by one of my sisters in a message, to please tell her how she could send me hearts as I had been sending her. I thought about how to best describe what keys to press and how to put it together. I was struck by what came to me.

The less than symbol (<) followed by the number 3 with no space in between was the answer I prepared to give. In saying it in my mind what I heard was, “Less than three equals two hearts connected by love”.

Photo by Vicki Willoughby

I found it so ironic that those were the symbols that could indicate and send love between any two of us who choose to give love to each other, no matter the distance or whether we’ve ever met in body. In our hearts, here and everywhere we are Sisters, in the greatest sense of the word that I know. We come here to you every day standing with and standing for Love.

For what it’s worth.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE?

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I was born and raised a Central New Yorker but lived 18 yrs. in Va Bch, VA. I am the mother of two young men, who are 29 and 9 yrs. of age. I have been doing Reflexology since I was 11 yrs old, I have been a teaching Reiki Master for 12 yrs and have been Dr. Mom for my family using therapeutic grade essential oils as our medicine for 7 yrs. Having come from a functional family but living many years in a megalopolis combined with many years of being a catalyst for healing, gives me a varied point of view. Perspective is one of my favorite playgrounds! If you’d like a consultation for Reiki or aromatherapy or soul integration/inner child play please feel free to contact me at vaw4beacon *at* yahoo.com, Blessings for your highest and best, Vicki Willoughby.

Being the Change


Being the change requires the ability to embrace paradox and understand that things that appear to be opposites can both be true in the same place without conflict, just from a different perspective.

At some point each of us feels small. When we call upon Source (God/Goddess/Universe), as that inclusive All, that is so much more than us, there is also the knowledge that Source is within us. We are incredibly sophisticated biological machines made up of trillions of cells that work in synergy with each other and they are manufactured one cell at a time from a bowl of cereal, an apple, a sandwich, what but God could do that?

We are male and female. We are in a constant state of being born, rediscovering ourselves in each moment.  We are in a constant state of dying, one cell at a time. The trick is to understand that while appearing opposite these aspects need not “oppose” each other.  One is merely there to allow the other to be experienced as it would not be possible otherwise. It is therefore a blessing however it may appear.

An open heart can mourn the passing of a loved one while celebrating their life. An open heart can feel disappointment at losing while rejoicing for the one who won.  An open heart can embrace you and let you go at the same time. An open heart at peace with paradox can change the inner world and the outer world! Change is after all, the only constant.

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I was born and raised a Central New Yorker but lived 18 yrs. in Va Bch, VA. I am the mother of two young men, who are 31and 11 yrs. of age. I have been doing Reflexology since I was 11 yrs old, I have been a teaching Reiki Master for 13 yrs and have been Dr. Mom for my family using therapeutic grade essential oils as our medicine for 8 yrs. Having come from a functional family but living many years in a megalopolis combined with many years of being a catalyst for healing, gives me a varied point of view. Perspective is one of my favorite playgrounds! If you’d like a consultation for Reiki or aromatherapy or soul integration/inner child play please feel free to contact me at vaw4beacon *at* yahoo.com, Blessings for your highest and best, Vicki Willoughby.

Perspectives on Inspiration


Nothing that is created is by accident.  You can discover art in many forms.  Art and the  inspiration behind it can be found in writing, theater, music, sculpture or painting.  Art can also be found in nature on something as simple as a walk in the park if you open yourself.

The next time you “experience” your surroundings do it with all Five Senses – not only sight, but sound, touch, aroma and even taste.  Suspend your judgement and allow the Creator’s work to envelop you. The effect of “Breathing it all in” will be monumental.

Trust is the key to this experience.  Our Inner Critic, the “adult” in us and the “experiences of life” all conspire to block the creative flow.  You see, when you appreciate, you are also being creative.  Put another way, you are interrupting the art of inspiration.

Be in the moment of observation & allow all the other senses to round out your experience.  Such as the way light falls through a window or the expression of joy on the face of a child or the way someone positions themself  on a park bench.  The nuances of the day-to-day are taken for granted or worse are dismissed or overlooked.

Half thoughts often interrupt the appreciation process or sometimes these Ghost Thoughts open doors to new insights for inspiration.  Allow your mind to take in each piece of the sensory mosaic often, for fuller appreciation and  to be stored for use at a later time.

I find that stored images & impressions are triggers for inspiration.  For example on a recent walk I noticed a display of color in a sunset that I have been looking for in a painting.  The awareness allowed me to “store” it for a later artistic use.  Likewise I recently walked into a friend’s house & was drawn to the aroma  from the kitchen.. It reminded me of my mom’s gumbo back home in New Orleans.  In actuality is was a simple fish stock but the sense of smell flooded me with memories not only of aromas but colors & experiences & people.  That sensory Ghost  painted pictures in my mind and this time not snap shots but a technicolor movie of memories and flavors.

The goal or perhaps the PRIZE is to consciously rediscover your amazing sensory perceptions that you were born with and  to discover the inspiration for your own artistic side.

Remember you can even find light and beauty in darkness.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE?

Please do! Just be sure to include this complete blurb with it:

Born in New Orleans, near the bayou’s, my life so enriched with music, and food and all the patois the atmosphere offered.

I felt infused with all the beauty of life, so it was an easy transition to dive into a creative lifestyle.

I was the protege of a very famous photographer, that taught me the principles as well as aesthetics of art through the lens of the camera. As I grew in my creative capacities, I decided to “go west”, to Texas to develop my skills as a commercial artist.

During this time I had a profound shift in consciousness. I was lead to start teaching art to children and young adults. Drawing inspiration from “Drawing from the Right side of the Brain”.

The natural step from there was to incorporate my artwork into spiritual venues. I started to paint more intimate portraits for CD’s and illustrate books.

All the while hearing a whisper of a truer calling out of the distractions of modern life. I am on an inner journey to discover my soul’s purpose. To listen to and follow our soul’s guidance in the midst of life. Kimberley Huxen

When at the end of the road


When at the end of the road, turn around…

Do you know the feeling of arriving at a ‘no way out’ point in your life… no matter the subject, but the feeling is the same : you’ve done everything you can, you have thought it over a million times, you have been looking for an answer in every corner of your life, you gave the best of yourself and more… and yet something doesn’t seem to work out the way you need it to be, something holds you back (be it inside of you – or perhaps you experience it outside of you…) … you arrived at the end of that particular road somehow… you know that there are many roads out there, but right now you are on this one, and you see no way out.

I know this feeling very well… got myself in there in so many ways on so many occasions …
One day someone said, “You are good at transforming extreme situations, that’s why you are great at offering people crisis management.” Can’t say that I was happy with that statement then, but it was nevertheless true.

So what to do at the end of the road… ? Is it such a bad place to be…? Or does it depend on what we do, which decisions we take at that point? Perhaps it’s not so bad at all? Perhaps we can even benefit from it…? Imagine that : benefiting from being somewhere you don’t want to be… at least that would make the experience worth something, wouldn’t it?

In fact being at the end of the road feels a little like being on the edge also… usually fear keeps us paralyzed… keeps us from taking the leap, keeps us from finding the way out.

And when (maybe, and just for a little moment) we can switch to the position of the observer there is so much to see, so much to learn at that very unbearable point in our life.

But first of all : stop fighting the very fact that you are ‘at the end’ – stop trying to get out!
Just look around, watch, take a few minutes to look at the situation in a 360° angle : in front of you perhaps the abyss, or the mountain or the huge wall without doors… and to the left, and to the right … try to physically imagine your situation. What do you see at both sides of you?
And then, turn around … look at the road you came from… look at your feet… what is it that you are standing on… and then … look up to the sky…

No, it doesn’t matter if there are solutions… what matters the most is that you take these few moments for yourself… to stop fighting, to be the observer, to look around for a while… look from how far you came running already, remember how much strength you already had to have to get to where you are right now… even to run away you needed strength… that’s yours!
Even to hit with your fists against the walls in your life, you needed strength and perseverance… look at you … you have it… for now it doesn’t matter if the wall is the right one, or if you THINK that you have done everything wrong and that it is your fault that you arrived at the abyss…
It doesn’t matter at all who’s fault it is… just look once more… and feel that it is your soul that has brought you to this extremely important opportunity to experience this unique experience…
Just keep standing, keep turning around… not to find a way out… but to look around… to see, to feel the full abundance of information at that very spot… keep turning, and turning, not thinking that you need to find a way out, just observing, just being present, nothing more, no effort, no need to run, or to get out …

I promise : before you know you will see yourself stepping through the wall, flying over the abyss or running down the hill (without effort and with joy) because something out there will catch your attention… and you will be free again (as you always were anyway)!

If only you can stop fighting yourself for one little minute… and remember to keep returning to that minute any time – even ‘at the end of the road’ you will feel how much love and lust for life there is inside of you, how much strength and how much wisdom…

Come on, join me on the merry go round… that’s all there is in life… take one more turn around … and go on, … FLY!

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In the past 51 years I walked, ran, crawled… many roads on an ongoing journey to discover the inevitable freedom of the soul,  the joy of being alive, the value of the teacher we call pain, the depth of human wisdom and the meaning of human madness. I have been deeply touched by the kindness in the eyes, hearts, words and helping hands of friends, teachers, soulmates, … even strangers. I have been all of that and all of them. The most valuable lesson I have ever learned is that ‘there’s nothing to fear’.  For the next 51 years I am committed to share this awareness in everything I do. It’s a joy to share this blog with sisters so close to my soul and touching your life with my words fills me with deep gratitude. May these words carry the love from my heart to yours. Loesja Klimczak – http://www.mayanatlantyda.be

Understanding negativity


When I was younger I always thought that negativity was something to be avoided, as if that was a possibility. I never understood how important it really is to us.

One day when I was particularly frustrated with life as a whole, I was sitting outside my home under a canopy of tall maple trees. I looked to the sky and said aloud, “Please remove all this negativity from my life!”  As if there was someone sitting in a seat right behind me who had leaned forward to speak more clearly to me, I heard, “Are you sure you’re ready to go?” In that instant  I realized what my request meant and quickly said, “No. Thank you! I am not ready to go and I accept life as it is.”

I understood in that moment that we are children of God (whatever that means to you) and are therefore beings of light. Negativity, or darkness if you will, is the contrast to our inherent being and the vehicle of our experience. Think of the film method of photography. It required a negative by which to arrive at the positive version we call photographs. Neither is bad or good, just the means to an end.

Without negativity, there is no contrast for our experience. We know there is no up without down, here without there or now without then but often we fail to understand that without negativity we would not be here. We might not appreciate a cloudy sky until it gives us the means to a gorgeous sunset!

For what it’s worth.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE?

Please do! Just be sure to include this complete blurb with it:

I was born and raised a Central New Yorker but lived 18 yrs. in Va Bch, VA. I am the mother of two young men, who are 29 and 9 yrs. of age. I have been doing Reflexology since I was 11 yrs old, I have been a teaching Reiki Master for 12 yrs and have been Dr. Mom for my family using therapeutic grade essential oils as our medicine for 7 yrs. Having come from a functional family but living many years in a megalopolis combined with many years of being a catalyst for healing, gives me a varied point of view. Perspective is one of my favorite playgrounds! If you’d like a consultation for Reiki or aromatherapy or soul integration/inner child play please feel free to contact me at vaw4beacon *at* yahoo.com, Blessings for your highest and best, Vicki Willoughby.

Firewalk Wisdom


It sounded like an intriguing idea but I really didn’t know what to think of it. A friend was going and needed a ride so I decided to go myself and find out what doing a fire walk was all about.

There was a class first to help us understand and put us in the mindset and higher vibration necessary for a fire walk. It was interesting enough with many concepts I understood already. We took breaks in the class to go outside and raise our vibration under a starry sky. The first break we went out in the yard and learned a Russian song and sang together. The second break was to go outside and build the fire. The point being that if you build the fire then the brain knows that it is a real fire and doesn’t consider that there could be deception of any kind.

Building the fire is its own revelation with several handfuls of people coming together to build one thing so that it accomplishes the desired result. We made a round tower of wood and put wads of newspaper in every nook and cranny. The fire was lit and we left it to the fire tender who would say prayers into the fire and ask for protection for the whole process.

For the next break we were offered sticks and we put whatever offering we wanted to make to the fire. It could be doubt, frustration, pain, hate, anything we wanted to get rid of from our lives, or it could be gratitude, love, unity. We announced our intention and threw in our sticks in turn and stood in meditation becoming one with the fire.

On our last trip out we took drums, rattles, an assortment of noise makers and our voices to raise the vibration in song. As the facilitator raked the pile of coals into a circle we sang traditional Native American Indian Songs, some in the native tongue, some in English. We had been instructed that each bed of coals is approx. 1400 degrees Fahrenheit and that if we did not feel at one with it or had any fears about it we should not walk in the fire. We were also told that if we could not accept responsibility and thus the consequences, 100%, we should not walk.

On that chilled starry night our voices and drum beats rang out in celebration and exultation as people who were more experienced took the lead and began to walk through the bed of coals with their drums and voices raised high. I didn’t know if I could or would do it. I didn’t feel confident and felt something similar to what I imagine one feels when they are going to take their first step out of a perfectly good airplane in flight.

There were approximately 20 of us and each person went through the coals as they felt guided, some only once, some a multitude of times. One woman stood in the fire and danced around for more than 15 seconds. I still had my reservations but was trying to ignore the whirlwind in my gut until it flipped.

At a certain point the vibration raised high enough that the emotion that accompanied that whirlwind changed from trepidation to excitement. I let out a cry like you’d hear from a camel riding army as they were mounting an attack and started to walk. What I found was so surprising! As I walked through this bed of coals that was well over 1,000 degrees, if felt only cold, no heat at all. No heat on my feet, none as I breathed, I felt no heat at all. It was totally counter intuitive. As I emerged on the other side of the fire pit I was received by a hug from an exuberant friend who yelled, “You Made It!” It was like being born into a new way of thinking about myself.

What the fire walk taught me is this:

Number one, when I feel that churning in the pit of my stomach, the feeling is exactly the same as joyful excitement. The only difference is the emotion that I assigned to the feeling. With that knowledge and experience I have found that even in the face of what looks like a fearful situation, I can look at it with different perspective and think, “Here comes my next major blessing in life!” When we look in hindsight the greatest blessings in our lives have come out of what did not look that way on first blush. So why not accept what is coming as a great blessing in the first place instead of spending that time agonizing over it and thus attracting more agony. When I have had opportunities to change fear into anticipation, what I was expecting transformed into something surprisingly wonderful.

Number two, I learned about our true being. This world tends to condition us to be followers and think of ourselves as less than. The process of fire walking makes it much more believable that we are God Force, how else could I walk through a fire unburned? When we direct our vibrations and thoughts up to the level of our higher selves we can overcome virtually anything. Once you have accomplished fire walking, speaking in front of a group of thousands of people is a piece of cake! Right?

For what it’s worth.

Photo by Vicki Willoughby

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE?

Please do! Just be sure to include this complete blurb with it:

I was born and raised a Central New Yorker but lived 18 yrs. in Va Bch, VA. I am the mother of two young men, who are 29 and 9 yrs. of age. I have been doing Reflexology since I was 11 yrs old, I have been a teaching Reiki Master for 12 yrs and have been Dr. Mom for my family using therapeutic grade essential oils as our medicine for 7 yrs. Having come from a functional family but living many years in a megalopolis combined with many years of being a catalyst for healing, gives me a varied point of view. Perspective is one of my favorite playgrounds! If you’d like a consultation for Reiki or aromatherapy or soul integration/inner child play please feel free to contact me at vaw4beacon *at* yahoo.com, Blessings for your highest and best, Vicki Willoughby.