About Vicki

I was born and raised a Central New Yorker but lived 18 yrs. in Va Bch, VA. I am the mother of two young men, who are 34 and 15 yrs. of age. I have been doing Reflexology since I was 11 yrs old, I have been a teaching Reiki Master for 17 yrs and have been Dr. Mom for my family using therapeutic grade essential oils as our medicine for 12 yrs. Having come from a functional family but living many years in a megalopolis combined with many years of being a catalyst for healing, gives me a varied point of view. Perspective is one of my favorite playgrounds! If you'd like a consultation for Reiki or aromatherapy please feel free to contact me at vaw4beacon@yahoo.com.

5 Years Later


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The passage of time tells all as we move forward. 6 years ago as of this date most of the women who came together to form the original Sisterhood page on Facebook were unknown to each other. Lydia Moreno invited us all to join our energies from those who signed up for an online summit. None of us could have suspected where it would lead.

We came together very quickly, recognizing each other as sisters in our extreme diversity. From our youngest, Sadie Fulton being like rocket fuel, to the elders like Kara Johnstad who had the energy of the voice of the planet offering her songs to those “slow food” aficionados (she’s more appreciated by slow food people than those who enjoy fast food) and Alishaa Asakura who is simply a sage! Age, experience, location, past, religion, lack thereof, none of it mattered. What mattered is that we almost instantly recognized each other as family.

Sadie offered an area of the Sisterhood page called Who We Are so that we could find each other if we were looking for services that others offered. What a wonderful networking idea! Being an energy worker myself I understand that what we focus on grows so I suggested we utilize a section called What We Choose to focus on the intentions of the others to amplify their possibility. As if it was the hinge of a door, within 36 hours it became the impetus for the group that would become The Daily Sisterhood.

Our working page was Tools of the Sisterhood, Sadie had it set up in no time and as more than 20 women opted in to write together we began to discover our connectedness. We had the idea to write a book, maybe with each of us writing a chapter but it became too daunting to put together, so as the group refined closer to a dozen we decided that blogging was the way to go.

To be honest, at that time I didn’t even really know what blogging meant. Weekly we had group Skype calls to make decisions, connections and share ideas, until finally we picked the beginning of Spring to spring out into the public eye with this venture together.

We spent a long time deciding on things like our tag line, “Vulnerability is the New Strength” we knew that being open and raw was the only way to touch other resonant hearts. As things morphed and grew I was so personally gratified as editor and scheduler for the group, to have a backstage pass to the wisdom of these women that had about a 30 year range in age, global experience and expression. It was at once volunteer work and the greatest treasure.

As we settled in to this commitment and approached the first anniversary of the origin of the Sisterhood page, the person who brought us all together initially, without warning, deleted the whole page. It was absolutely shocking to all of us and sent a wave out through our community that went from into the hundreds, to who we could piece together from the contacts we had made outside of the page.

The whole thing was the result of a man being invited onto the page. Yes, sisters like to have a protective environment in which to share, but it doesn’t mean it can’t include brothers. George E. Green is a wonderful soul and author who I found to be a fantastic addition to the group but as in any group there will be those who disagree and demand their complaints be recognized and honored. So two groups were formed, a new smaller version of Sisterhood and The Daily Sisterhood Lounge where all would be welcome to come and stay awhile.

For those of us writing blogs, life continued to accelerate, as it has for us all. It became increasingly challenging to make an original daily offering for our blog posts from a dozen women around the globe who had so many commitments to life.

In the midst there was another shock wave that rocked us to our cores. One of our guest authors, Lizelle Le Roux, was murdered in South Africa. It happened on a day that one of her blogs posted. She had struggled with leaving Australia to live with her parents on their farm in South Africa called Sunnyside. As she took her Sunday morning walk around the farm, she was stabbed to death and we prayed that that was all that happened to her.That feeling of vulnerability really turned into our strength as we struggled to accept and move past what had happened to our beloved sister. An intuitive friend told me he could hear her singing that she was free. I knew she had had struggles, so I held the image of her singing and dancing on the hillside rejoicing in the newfound freedom she found on the other side of the veil.

As time marched on we began reposting earlier blogs and really fell out of the structure we had started. There comes a point when dipping into the well of what you have to offer, that life takes priority and you don’t feel you have much more to offer at the time. Our site fell into disuse except for an occasional offering by Leah Schroeder who has the countenance and patience of a saint.

From this view I see clearly how we were each catalysts for each other. Sadie was in Belfast Ireland and now has taken her activist self to California and is making connections with potential presidents. Kara is putting her voice coaching and presence out into the world to midwife a new resonance. Ellen has actually birthed a new presence, her son Anton who will be 2 this summer, while living a transcontinental family life and extending her teaching offerings to the world. Leah is moving forward with her healing work and the gathering of women to share and amplify their strengths. Loesja is helping people recover their mental and physical health while the world seems to have gone mad. Jennifer is also working in the field of health as she continues to put her beautiful artistry of brush and being into the world. Laura’s pouring love into grand kids and being more of the open hearted entertainer she is. Each has expanded their depth and scope and is bringing more love into the world.

I myself am collaborating with Balboa Press as I write and compile my forthcoming book An Invitation Back to Myself. It has been coming together for years but I have stepped into the action of offering and as I do, inspiring “downloads” are being offered to me to share.

My feeling is that with the focus of shining our lights in unity, we have each stepped on a broader path, so very individual but like rays of the sun, with their own warmth, direction and purpose. I believe this is the activity of the “shift”. It becomes an inherent knowing that there is so much more than we’ve been led to believe and we can love and live into that whole heartedly knowing the truth of vulnerability being the new strength. May all be blessed!

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Love More, Not Less Part 2


0526141924aPlease refer to Part 1 of this piece for the beginning of the story. . . .

When I came to the understanding that my son needed more of my direct attention, I had some previous obligations in place and offered to take him with me so he wouldn’t feel left behind, he declined, preferring to be sat by a family friend but he had to go to her house. The next morning before leaving for school he begged me to be able to take his tablet to the sitter. I told him he was in luck since he’d be going to school where they had a library so he could take out whatever books he wanted for his amusement. He’s always been an excellent reader, way above his age range. He said he really didn’t like reading very well any more. What a shame was my reply as he grudgingly headed off to school.

Once I got home that night we snuggled in and I offered to read to him like the good old days. On the bedside stand I had How I Made My First Ten Million or Happier Than God. He chose neither, so Happier Than God it was! I opened to a random chapter and it was about unexpected consequences and the Law of Opposites. I told him it was as if they wrote that chapter just for him. He didn’t want to listen so I told him if he turned over I’m sure the drone of my voice would help lull him right off to sleep. He grumbled as he rolled over and fell asleep.

I offered to walk him to the bus stop again in the morning but he declined. When he got home from school he asked if he could do the dishes! I was astounded and said, “Of course, I’ll be right out and help you!” He told me I didn’t need to but I told him I would welcome the time together and would be happy to because this was all about us having quality time! He shared about some awesome grades he’d gotten back that day and we had light conversation. I asked if he’d had a good night’s sleep and he said he had. “Oh, it must have been the book I read to you last night! We can read again tonight!” “Nooooo Mom!”

The next night, unexpectedly a life long friend of mine came to visit. He came through the door asking for my son. He went right to him saying, “Buddy, how are you? I came to see you! I heard you need more love!!” He chased him around the house playing and finally put him in a headlock and told him if he ever got in trouble again he’d move in just to prove how much loving support there was available for him. For the duration of the visit he made sure my son was feeling the full availability of love for him. I looked at my son over my glasses and said, “You weren’t expecting my entourage were you!?”

He was at his wits end and about to crawl out of his skin if he got any more loving attention. Giving him punishment or restriction would have given him a battle to be on the side of but when everyone around him was just giving him more loving attention there was nothing to oppose, no conflict to win or lose. I had realized that unconditional love is indefensible but hadn’t previously considered using it as a rearing tool per se. I felt like I’d found the jackpot!

Then I had to decide how to end it. I knew my son had had an effective dose of love and that my goal of the moment was accomplished so I told him after this had been going on for several days, that I had thought of a way for him to get his tablet back. Not the iPhone, that was going to take more time and building back of the trust in our relationship. I told him that he had shown me how proficient he had become at doing the dishes and that with doing the job I was sure he understood how much work it truly was for me to work all day, grocery shop, cook dinner and then clean. If he was willing to voluntarily take on the responsibility for dish washing it would show me that he was serious about helping out in our household and building our relationship on trust. He said he could do that.

Since he was willing to take it on with no further back talk I offered to let him go to the Super Bowl party the next day that he had asked permission for 3 weeks before so he could remember what it was like to have a life in which he’d earned privileges. He was so overjoyed he flew into my arms with a big thank you and couldn’t get the dishes done fast enough and he did them well.

There had been an incident when he was 6 that I wanted to nip in the bud. I wanted to impress upon him that choosing behavior he knew was wrong could result in not getting opportunities he didn’t know were coming. He wanted a Wii game system for years and his Dad and I had intended to get him one for Christmas that year. Because of his behavior I told him we could not in good conscience get him a Wii and that we wanted him to understand what his behavior had caused. At his tender age he was crushed and didn’t get a Wii for years. Before he got his tablet back I reminded him that he hadn’t suspected the consequences he’d received those years before and that he hadn’t expected all the love that was available for him from this latest incident. I was also sure he hadn’t suspected my entourage who showed him more unconditional love than he could deal with! I made it clear that he had underestimated me several times and that I could assure him there was even more love available for him if he showed me with his behavior that he needed it and that there were more creative things than losing his technology. What he’d experienced so far was but a peek into Pandora’s box should he underestimate me again. When I asked if we understood each other, his response was “Crystal!!”

There’s more to the story but that’s all for this time. I had managed to release us from the restriction and punishment that both parent and child go through when they are at odds. The entire time I was loving, upbeat, supportive, peaceful and able to be happy. No anger, yelling, arguments, frustration or doubt I had been through in the past with my elder son. I was able to love myself more in that and was able to thrive from the love I was giving to my son rather than looking for it to be shown to me by him. The story is ongoing. . .

Loving More, Not Less Part 1


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The societal norm these days is generally to put those we love and anyone else ahead of ourselves. This leaves each of us feeling like we’re holding an empty cup in this time of individual homes as opposed to community, tribes, clans which provide support and safety.

We’re taught that we are going to grow up to find someone to love us, as if we’ll live without love if we don’t. I’ve been listening to a new thought leader lately named Matt Kahn on YouTube who suggests that we can nourish ourselves from the love we give rather than looking to get it from someone else. I’ve recently discovered how effective this can be in the world of parenting. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8SmlRDzIRM

I have two sons, one is now 32 and the other preparing to be 13. I was 21 starting my first voyage into parenting and had no idea that I would be starting over on the top side of forty but since it wasn’t my first rodeo I knew how important my investment in my child was.

The first time around was very challenging with the divorce of his parents when my son was 4 and there have been many consequences along the way and the ripple effect is still impacting his 32 yr old life. Things were much less tumultuous for my younger son but his parents did split when he was 10.

I’m basically earthy crunchy by most people’s standards and have been grooming my son to read labels since he could read. We do Reiki, essential oils and reflexology to support our well being and exclude as many toxins as we can. We don’t use cleaning chemicals or chemical personal care products and exclude “foods” that contain aspartame, high fructose corn syrup, dyes, MSG and any known genetic modifications. We choose a lifestyle that also excludes vaccinations, doctor’s office appointments other than emergency and virtually anything that is advertised on tv, most especially prescription or over the counter medication.

Recently my son has begun to stretch his boundaries and has been testing me and his newly established individuality regularly. The first evidence that showed itself was him using Axe body products. I knew that I have a hard time breathing in the presence of things like this but had just recently learned that Axe body spray is known to effect boy’s testicles and that it has been banned by many school systems because it causes what is called an “Axe Attack”, an allergy or asthma attack and that’s not even for the person wearing it but others around them. Once I started to share I heard from one girlfriend that her son, after its use was taken to the doctor for major skin eruptions and was told one testicle was enlarged and the other one was shriveling. Another friend whose son had used Old Spice body spray had just been told by his doctor that he had an enlarged testicle that required surgery, not a welcome revelation at any age, let alone 18. I took my son’s 3 products (shampoo, body wash and spray) and threw them in the trash.

He was outraged but considering our lifestyle I don’t know why he was surprised. Several weeks later the next evidence was that I found a charge for iTunes on my bank account that he had “found” his way into without my permission and specifically against 3 times I told him I would never attach my bank account to iTunes.

He had been given a friend’s old iPhone without my consent last summer but once he had it I figured as long as he didn’t have a phone account and could just use it for free apps and the camera, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. Knowing the dangers of EMFs and how high powered iPhones are I would not allow him to have an account that would not only be cost prohibitive but would have him putting that powerful transmitter to his head. Of course many parents allow children who are younger and younger to use them, I don’t happen to be one of them. There’s more to the story but suffice to say that the iPhone has become a bone of contention since he misappropriated my account for its benefit.

I took the iPhone from him and illustrated all the correspondent issues and reasons for which he was receiving the consequences he was and thought he understood the situation at that point in time.

The next morning after he left for school, I got into the shower to find that there on the shelf, were Axe shampoo and body wash. I was dumbfounded and wondered if I’d had a stroke! After the events of the last evening I simply could not believe that I was finding products I had forbidden just a few weeks before! I was at a loss for how not to just flip my lid quite honestly. I had the day to think about it while he was in school and thoughts of my elder son’s life reeled through my head as they had the night before. Suffice to say I had ended up needing to protect myself against my elder son’s financial disrespect as he went into his teens and did not want to have the second coming of that with this son.

My thoughts went to what I had been learning from Matt Kahn and his offering that loving yourself more is always the answer so I was challenged with what that would look like in the real world. I expected since I found 2 products at home that the body spray would be in his locker at school so he could still use it and escape my notice. I had him called to the office in school before the final bell and walked him to his locker to see if the body spray was there. He said it wasn’t but we went to check. There was no body spray, as it turned out instead of purchasing replacements he had just gotten in the trash to retrieve the shower products but the body spray was messy so he didn’t get it. Instead I found his tablet in his locker and told him that would need a ride home because he wouldn’t be using it in school.

He was aggravated and embarrassed but only one person actually saw that his Mom was checking into his locker. I told him he had a sure way to never have it happen again. On the way out of the school I apologized to him. I told him that I must have neglected his needs for him to have acted out to this extent to get my attention. I told him that since technology was causing a distraction in our relationship it would have to be removed so we could spend more quality time together. I had obligations that evening but provided a jigsaw puzzle for him so he could be right in the next room and not bored. He chose to do his homework instead.

Once my obligation was complete I had him help me fix dinner instead of playing games while I did it all and told him afterward it was time for him to learn to wash the dishes in hot water without burning himself since he’d already been putting the dishes away for a couple of years. As we were elbow to elbow at the sink I told him that I didn’t think we’d been spending nearly enough time together and that I missed him so I was really appreciative of him creating this opportunity for us to have this quality time together.

I told him he would be able to snuggle into Mom’s bed (he loves my king sized pillow top and dual electric blanket in these NY below 0 temps) that night since he wouldn’t have the technology to use as an alarm clock, that I’d get up and make breakfast for him if he wanted (he’s in middle school and long since taking care of that himself) and I would even be sure to throw on a house coat over my night gown and slippers before I walked him to the bus stop because I wanted him and everyone else to know that I was there for him every minute! His response, “Oh my God Mom, shoot me in the head now!” I said, “Ohh, are you sad? Come here, I’ll give you a hug!” There’s so much more to the story but that will have to be Part 2, look for that in the near future.

What does it take?


It feels like so many would just like to know what it takes to heal what is going on with us, each individually and as humans collectively. From my view what it takes is decision, the cutting away of all else. Its a matter of whether we feel at cause or at effect in our lives. Do we wait to see what life dishes out or decide moving forward, what we choose. Not deciding in favor of what you’d like, is agreeing to what you’d rather not have happen.

Photo by Vicki Willoughby

Photo by Vicki Willoughby

When we decide we set our focus. It seems so much easier to understand from a viewpoint of our electronic tools that we can put our hands on and look at and understand the use of. When we decide on a goal, something we would like to manifest in our lives, its like putting your destination into Google maps or setting a GPS. The equipment sets the suggested path to that destination eliminating any concern of how to get there.

Since what we focus on grows, focusing on a destination draws it to us or us to it. With the decision of what we’d like to choose, what is important is to create the vision of what we desire, as if its happening. A friend was very angry with his ex because she was not allowing him contact with his 6 yr old son living in a different state. He fussed and fumed about it. I suggested he take all that outward energy and turn it inward to think of how it would feel when he heard his son’s voice saying, “Hi Daddy!” Hear the sounds, smell the smells, feel the expansion in your chest and the resulting sigh when he could release that space into the now.

He held that feeling for 48 hrs and then was talking to his son. Another friend lamented estrangement from her 4 daughters, I made the same suggestion, feel the emotion connected with “Hi Mom”, allow the space for it and just hold it. Within 48 hrs she had heard from two of them.

A friend’s daughter had a stroke as a very young mother, it was a congenital issue that required brain surgery. Her mother was so scared and frustrated and at her wits end. I told her to hold nothing but the vision of her daughter running and playing with her son this next summer. There was numbness and lack of movement on the left side after the surgery and you just never know until you know with those things what the result of recovery will be. Its been exactly two weeks since the brain surgery and she has been able to walk up stairs. There is new hope and much progress every day. We’re all very relieved by that and I believe that that vision will happen, as many hold it with her.

For myself. My highschool sweetheart, after many decades of us each living different lives in different places, are reuniting. He called me, we talked and I wasn’t sure what to really think about it but once I decided and held the feeling of what my heart most desired. It was about 48 hrs before things started to fall into place. He and I are both free to choose to be together and it feels like my life is starting over or maybe for the first time. In this moment I couldn’t be happier.

I don’t mean to say that anything you hold with love will show up in 48 hrs that has just been my experience so far with using this tool of manifestation. It has worked brilliantly so far!

This will not make me immune to life but in the moments that there are challenges, I will focus on continuing to hold love as my highest value and as I do I know that with decision and holding that vision I can move forward into a life that is of my creation from love, regardless of what shows up as landscape or detours on the journey.

Photo by Vicki Willoughby

Photo by Vicki Willoughby

 

Ever Notice?


Real Health Care Photo by Victoria Willoughby

Real Health Care Photo by Victoria Willoughby

This will probably be an affront to some people but it has been that to me for quite some time so I am speaking my heart about it. Ever notice how there are so many races for “the cure” as if the cause is irrelevant or unknown? Or for that matter as if cures are unknown? It is a classic part of the system we have supported, allowed and been trapped in.

Number one, cancer is not an enemy, it is the last ditch effort on the part of the body to handle the fact that we live in a world full of toxins that we consume, inhale and apply. It is the body’s attempt to save your life for as long as its able under the load its carrying. It can also be created as a symptom of what is going on in your emotional/spiritual body.

Number two, there are sooooo many cures for cancer its ridiculous. I personally know many people who have built new lives out of what they learned from and through it. I do not say they reclaimed their lives because they must change their lives if they are going to get past cancer and continue to live. Living life the same is why it came about in the first place. If your shopping cart is full of soda, snack food, nail polish, hair spray, chemical cleaners, diet products (lets face it folks, the first three letters are d~i~e) and prescriptions you are creating your own end and its not as pretty as the nail polish might make it look.

You can argue and say, “Well I have to maintain a certain appearance for work!”, or “My job includes all these chemicals.” Time to start looking for a different career or a different way to go about it. Do you care so much about outer appearance you would sell your health down the river for it? Do you allow other’s approval to determine what you should be using and doing rather than your own inherent knowing?

Number three, the prevention and cure for cancer is the same and its in your shopping cart or at your home, depending on whether you grow your own garden and have your own chickens and such.

Juicing prep Photo by Victoria Willoughby

Juicing prep Photo by Victoria Willoughby

The media and the “powers that be” would have us running around searching for a cure that already exists and its not formulated in a lab. They make no mention of the many causes, or the many, many known cures. Our grandparents never told us about the loved ones they lost to cancer because it didn’t exist at that time. We’ve been led to believe that life expectancy was so low back then and maybe in certain time periods it was, but as you look further back you will find that there were many periods of time where life expectancy was soooooo much longer than anything anyone expects in this day and age and the long life was usually healthy and unassisted except by family and community.

Transmission Transition


There is so much transition going on right now. The Shift it is being called by some. What does that really mean? It feels to me like driving a 5 speed and I’ve wound out 4th gear as far as it will go. The transmission is whining and straining at being held back when it is poised to go much faster if I would just shift. I know I need to shift gears. I have been shifting gears spiritually for years. Lately I have shifted gears in my emotional body. In the moment of NOW the shift is moving into the physical. I feel its the last stop on a journey of full connection to my higher self, if there is any such thing as a last stop.

It seems like a kaleidoscope superimposed over a hurricane. Just as I get focused on one facet the whole view changes. I was never all that good with change. How is it that as humans we all seem to struggle with change when its the only thing apparent in our lives that is constant?

When changes are coming in the foreground it feels scary and ominous. Once the changes have happened, most often we look back with appreciation realizing that the changes needed to happen to bring us our latest blessing, but how to weather the storm in between? As I wrote that question I thought that following it should be some kind of answer about how to weather the storm but there isn’t. Not any more than there is an answer for the fisherman on his boat caught out in the perfect storm for how to navigate it. The storm teaches him with each swell, what needs to come next to survive and something about who he is in the process

Photo by Vicki Willoughby

What I’m learning in the moment through this journey is that no matter how much the engine whines I can’t shift until I feel it and when the feelings change I shift again. Since this journey has so many uphills, downhills, curves and turns, sometimes its a down shift for a minute until I come to the top of the next rise and can ease up and shift up again. The transmission feels like its in my stomach, churning and turning until the next up shift. This is definitely outside my comfort zone!

I have heard many saying that life begins outside your comfort zone so I guess at this point I’ll just welcome life? What choice do I have? For me, none. I’ve already met God in the valley of the shadows and when given a choice between reclaiming my life or staying there, I reclaimed my life so there is no further choice at this time. I will take a deep breath and let go when my every instinct says to hold on. In every moment I must refocus on breathing, letting go and repeating. When I feel hurt in my heart I will think of it breaking open to receive more joy and give more love. When I feel sea sick from the waves rocking the boat I will dive into the deepest swell and become the water. When I lose sight of those things I will dive into the Sisterhood and drink from the fountain of love and enlightenment that is there, ever thankful for this deep well to quench my thirst for connection and support on his highway, river, journey we call life! It redirects me toward my bliss in every comment! So with that I take the lyrics of the amazing Kara Johnstad to heart as I Let Go and Trust!

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE?

Please do! Just be sure to include this complete blurb with it:

I was born and raised a Central New Yorker but lived 18 yrs. in Va Bch, VA. I am the mother of two young men, who are 29 and 9 yrs. of age. I have been doing Reflexology since I was 11 yrs old, I have been a teaching Reiki Master for 12 yrs and have been Dr. Mom for my family using therapeutic grade essential oils as our medicine for 7 yrs. Having come from a functional family but living many years in a megalopolis combined with many years of being a catalyst for healing, gives me a varied point of view. Perspective is one of my favorite playgrounds! If you’d like a consultation for Reiki or aromatherapy or soul integration/inner child play please feel free to contact me at vaw4beacon *at* yahoo.com, Blessings for your highest and best, Vicki Willoughby.

Fractalfoto from the vision of Shannon Holand


Fractalfoto by Shannon Holand

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE?

Please do! Just be sure to include this complete blurb with it:

  Shannon Holand combines her love of boudoir and dude-oir photography with her love of fractal art to create her one of a kind Fractalfotos. After photographing, and carefully selecting a nude portion of her model’s body or face, Shannon creates a unique piece of fractal art, to work specifically with the chosen photo, and melds them together. They are then printed on a large sheet of metal forging a remarkable work of art. You can enjoy more of Shannon’s artwork at: www.bbboudoir.ca or www.dude-oir.ca