Yesterday morning, I woke up knowing that I was being called by Spirit to take a road trip to Bannock Point. The day before, during a Shamanic Retreat, I was reminded of my voice. I was told about a bird, with a red throat. The bird’s throat was swelling up, ready to explode, maybe with anger or some other emotions that needed to be released. I was suppressing my feelings. I have received messages before that I need to free my voice. It was important for me find a way to let this out in order for me to move forward.
On the way home from this retreat, it was suggested a primal scream out in the open somewhere would be helpful, like the potato field we were driving past. I kept driving. I knew this suggestion was right, but I needed to find my own way to do this.
Yesterday morning, I packed up my car and drove an hour and a half to the place I knew I needed to be. As I made my way closer to this sacred place, I could feel emotion welling up in my throat. I made note of the forested areas or fields I passed along the way. I could stop there. That would be a good place, but I knew I needed to keep going. I drove to the bridge that is the entrance to the path to Tie Creek. It is also by the site where the women will gather in a little over a month.
I prayed that no one would be at the Petroform site. I needed to be on my own. I was thankful there were no cars parked there as I drove by to my final destination. There was a truck parked at the end of the road. Someone must have taken an ATV out to Tie Creek.
I walked to the gathering site just to make sure no one was there. I stood by the river and let out some sound from my voice. It wasn’t what I really needed and I knew that, so I walked to the bridge over the waterfall. The water was moving fast with the Spring run-off. I saw some eagles circling overhead.
Once on the bridge, I offered tobacco into the river and asked Spirit for assistance with what I came here to do. I made a sound and then I yelled. I did it again and again, louder and longer each time, until my throat was fully open. Tears ran down my face. I stood there for a while, crying. I thanked Spirit and the river and offered tobacco again.
I began to tone my heart song, louder and more open than ever before. I freed that lump in my throat. I freed my voice. As this song was flowing out from my heart, I was aware of another voice singing along with mine. I offered tobacco again.
I stood there for a little while and walked to the other side of the bridge where the water was calm. When I was ready to leave, I thanked Spirit, walked back to my car and drove to the Petroform site. No one else was there. No human that is. I was not alone.
I left an offering of tobacco on the rock entering into the site, where other offerings have been placed, asking for guidance and protection for my time there. I walked towards the medicine wheel. I was drawn to another rock on my way there. I rested my hands to feel its energy and pray for guidance before carrying on. A previous visitor had left behind an offering of a bracelet there.
When I entered the medicine wheel, I left an offering of tobacco again. I spread some cedar on the rock around me. I prepared a smudge of sweetgrass and sage. I lit a candle. I wrote out a list of all the emotions, beliefs and resentments I wanted to release in that moment. I set them on fire with the light of the candle with a prayer to my guides and angels to carry them away. The ashes of the paper spread apart and were carried off in different directions by the wind.
I sat there, on the open rock around the medicine wheel, with my bare feet receiving the energy of the granite they were resting on. I felt peace, calm and freedom. Once again I noticed some large birds, likely eagles, circling above so high you could barely see them. Even though it was daytime, the moon showed herself to me. I felt loved and cared for knowing in that moment I was fully supported. I have reclaimed my voice.
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Leah Schroeder is a Reiki Master, ThetaHealing® and Integrated Energy Therapy® Practitioner, www.lifeforcehealingservices.ca . “I was born and raised in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. For most of my 48 years this has been and currently is the place I call home. I spent the last 17 years in Financial Services. A strong sense that there is something more I am supposed to do in the world, a fascination with energy and a series of intuitive nudges have led me to begin practising Reiki , ThetaHealing®, and now IET®. I have a desire to learn and practise other healing modalities, as well as serve children and empower young women around the world. I am grateful for the opportunity to share my thoughts and stories with you.”