The power of control…


I have heard all my life that change is the only thing that is constant, yet it is change that we often struggle with the most.

When we’re driving and have to change lanes because of traffic conditions, we may get a little exasperated until we’re back within a comfortable flow of traffic. When we have unexpected guests for dinner and don’t have enough pork chops, we may get a little flustered at having to make pasta instead, until we get all the ingredients together and bubbling merrily on the stove top.

Our brains needed to catch up with the necessary changes before we became comfortable with them.

But when we choose to change lanes when we are driving or we decide at the last moment to make pasta for dinner instead of pork chops, we become comfortable faster because we initiated the changes and our brains were ready for them.

When we choose to leave a job, or a relationship, or move to another location, we’re usually ok with the change. But if we leave a job because we got laid off, or our significant other broke up with us, or we had to move because the landlord sold the house we were renting, we can feel positively devastated.

It seems to me that it’s more about being in control of the change rather than the change itself.

Being upset about something that is out of our control is really as pointless as it is to be ok with a change that we initiated, because we don’t know the future. We don’t know for sure of the eventual outcome of either the forced change or the chosen change.

I can remember plenty of times where a change I chose to make didn’t turn out as good I had anticipated, just like there are many times a change occurred that originally I was not happy with turned out better than I expected it to.

When I find myself in that whole frustrated, exasperated, complaining, or whining mode about an unexpected change in the routine of my life, I try to remember to go with the flow and make a choice to be comfortable in the moment without having to wait for my brain to become comfortable with it.

Instead of feeling defeated, I feel the exhilaration of the power of control: control of my emotions.

Change is inevitable. There is no stopping it. Just remember that you always have the power to control your reactions to it in a way that you are comfortable with. Then just go with the flow and see where you end up.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE? Please do! Just be sure to include this complete blurb with it: My name is Laura Mozer Davis, and I was born over half a century ago. My life’s journey has included raising three children as a single parent while caring for my parents who both became disabled during the last 10 years of their lives. Now that my children are grown and my parents have passed into the next part of their journey, I finally have time for me to grow as a person, not as just a care-giver. What I am learning, however, is that my destiny is to always be a care-giver. When I started writing for The Daily Sisterhood blog, I realized that I was to continue my care-giving through my writing. If my words help even just one person find either solace or joy, I know my life continues to have meaning.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s