Complaint Free

I got an idea a while ago and proposed it to an assortment of people to see what they thought. The idea was to propose a complaint free day. A day in which you would neither offer nor receive any complaints.

Some people thought that would be a virtual impossibility. One person started listing all the places she would avoid if she were having a complaint free day, like senior camping at the local summer camp. It was funny how much resistance people came up with at the mere idea that a day could be complaint free.

My thought was to self regulate and resolve to speak only from a creative space for a day and invite others to join me so I would have as many people as possible on the same page around me. At the same time letting people know during the day that I am participating in an event that involves a day free of complaint and offering them an opportunity to rephrase, in a creative way, something they might otherwise be complaining about.

There has been much focus on conscious language and speaking purposefully and I wholeheartedly agree and participate. My feeling is that spending an entire day focusing on being complaint free would help myself and others realize how many still cling to complaint as if it somehow protects us from the complaint recurring. In truth it makes the complaint recur as we recreate and share it.

How much of the complaining that is done is done to keep company with each other’s misery? When I was a waitress I would see elder people playing what I’d call misery poker.  “Eczema? I’ll see your eczema and raise you Fibromyalgia! I’ll see your fibromyalgia and raise you hip replacement surgery! I’ll see your hip replacement and raise you kidney dialysis! I’ll see your dialysis and raise you chemotherapy!”

It was incredible for me to realize that there was a whole social structure built on complaint. Any of those people would not claim their own health no matter how much lip service they gave to it because it would erode their entire social group. No one wants to hear, “I feel great!” all the time when their main stock in trade is complaint.

When you look around your social circle how many people are doing their best to be creative and how many put their main focus on complaint? If the majority are the latter its time to look in the mirror and see if you’re one of the complainers. If you find that you are and your choice is not to have your life become a product of your complaints, when would now be a good time to change who you surround yourself with? That is a question only you can answer.

Its like an addiction and speaking from one who has kicked the habit, the cliche is true. . . when you change the way you look at things the things you look at change. Since I gave up complaint as a habit, life shows up much differently. Focusing on the blessings brings more blessings and as the blessings attract more of the same, life looks entirely different and miraculous! Its a simple change that is free of charge that you don’t have to wait for anything to make. If you haven’t done it already it would be a great holiday gift for us all that will keep on giving to the change on this planet.

Photo by Vicki Willoughby

Photo by Vicki Willoughby

This entry was posted in Women by Vicki. Bookmark the permalink.

About Vicki

I was born and raised a Central New Yorker but lived 18 yrs. in Va Bch, VA. I am the mother of two young men, who are 34 and 15 yrs. of age. I have been doing Reflexology since I was 11 yrs old, I have been a teaching Reiki Master for 17 yrs and have been Dr. Mom for my family using therapeutic grade essential oils as our medicine for 12 yrs. Having come from a functional family but living many years in a megalopolis combined with many years of being a catalyst for healing, gives me a varied point of view. Perspective is one of my favorite playgrounds! If you'd like a consultation for Reiki or aromatherapy please feel free to contact me at

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