Endings and Beginnings


You may have noticed most blogs being posted to this page lately have been encore presentations, repeats of blogs written and posted several months ago. Some of the reason for that is much the same as with all of you. A few of us have taken a break. We have busy lives filled with jobs, careers, families and outside interests and finding the time to give and pour our hearts out in blog form doesn’t always feel right. We had originally set it up whereas each of the core contributors would be obligated to post a blog 3 times a month. For over a year now we had been fairly faithful in keeping up with that obligation and for the most part, I have really enjoyed writing these.

In the last year, some of us have gotten married, separated from our spouses or partners, moved to a different state or country, taken and lost jobs, and lived our lives in the ebb and flow, just like everyone else. We have also learned a lot from each other. I, myself, feel I have grown in ways that didn’t even seem imaginable a year ago. Having just turned 44, I think I am finally entering my wise woman years.

But there was another occurrence several weeks ago which threw our contributing writers off course and left us each struggling to find our way back.

One of our own was brutally attacked and murdered.

Lizelle Le Roux was officially listed as a guest writer for The Daily Sisterhood blog, but that doesn’t even begin to cover who she was for most of us. The blogs that are posted here on this page are only a fraction of the intimacy shared by women separated by continents and most of whom have never met face to face. But we are in daily contact through a closed group on Facebook. In a variety of ways we share our troubles and triumphs and go to each other for support on all subject matters. We coach each other, celebrate the beauty in each of us, and love one another. We have become, as the name implies, sisters.

Lizelle was one of us. She set up a beautiful Humble Self Acknowledgement page within our private group where we could acknowledge our successes without feeling boastful or ashamed. She knew it was important for us to be able to share each aspect of who we deeply are and to not be embarrassed to celebrate our unique qualities and all the small ways we each triumph in our day to day lives. It is too easy to berate ourselves for our shortcomings, but few of us take the time to stop and acknowledge the little successes too. We need to routinely pat ourselves on the back for a job well done.

Lizelle was a life coach and had recently come full circle in healing her own past trauma without being embarrassed to let her scars show.  She was always giving back, fearlessly encouraging and open and honest. Despite the fact that most of us only knew her through cyber space, she was real.

She was truly beautiful, inside and out. Lizelle was love in its purest form. This is one of her profile pictures. It is my favorite because it seems such a good representation of who she was, glowing and pure.

 Lizelle had faced her demons and was learning to trust again. She was just really beginning to thrive.

And then she was gone.

It is still hard for me to comprehend. She was a year or two younger than me, but so wise beyond her years. After several weeks of deliberation and personal hand wringing she felt she had healed enough of her past to revisit it and trust in a new beginning. In part, I believe because of financial struggles, she agreed to move back in with her parents in South Africa. She wrote about her love/hate relationship with South Africa and all its inner turmoil. She was not embarrassed to share her fears with her sisters, but in the end, shelved them out of practicality and set out on the next leg of her journey. And yet, after being there for only a few weeks, history had repeated itself. This time, her physical body did not survive the attack.  This time, the dynamics have changed in our little group and while she still holds each of us in sacred space, she is a “guest” blogger no more.

I hadn’t been able to write my blogs for several weeks now. I, of all people, was finally at a loss for words. How do you reconcile such violence in a world you believe is heading to peace? How do you reconcile your anger and blame and heartbreak?

I couldn’t. I have been silent. I have SO MUCH to say, and yet nothing comes, nothing feels right. I have sat down to write many times and then thought of Lizelle. What would she have thought of this I mused? At the end of the day how do we carry on with this broken link?

The answer, I’m finding, is that we just do. After all this time, and after all my own personal struggles, and all the teachings I have read, listened to and tried to assimilate into my own life..I am finally beginning to just BE THE WATER.

The water pours over all and fills every crevice. I am finding love for each and everyone of us as droplets in a whole singular ocean. I am remembering forgiveness and gratitude and compassion. And I, for one, am moving on and writing again. This is my way of reaching out and holding hands and sending light and expressing love. This is what Lizelle was coaching us to do. She is still here, coaching each of us, to celebrate our successes and be fearless…to love and be love.

Thank you SO MUCH for everything Lizelle.

I am back to painting and writing and creating. I am just one of you, no more, no less. I don’t have the answers for everything, but I like sharing and expressing my leg of this journey. I love this purposeful connection, my way of reaching out and holding hands.

I am here and as always, I will do my best.

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I am a 43 year old mother of 3, living in Florida with my partner and youngest child. Like the mythological phoenix, I have been reborn out of the ashes of my former way of life and have, for the last several years, set out on an exploration of self expression through visual art and creative writing. I am immensely grateful to feel a part of every living thing in existence and the emergence of a growing evolution of consciousness within and throughout. I am interested in all aspects of energy healing and spiritual transformation and have just recently become a student of Reiki. I understand there is always a choice and I try to choose love over fear at every turn. I am grateful for all of the other women in this group and for their ever present support and guidance. Jennifer Bothast

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