Begin with the Blame Games


In the history of humanity we have sought answers to our many questions and our own personal truths. It has been engrained as long as we know of, to “blame” events on something external. Ancestors thought the Gods to be responsible for whether there was feast or famine and sacrificed accordingly to try to weigh the balance in their favor. Over time we’ve been conditioned to look at members of the clergy to be our connection to God, the bridge between, designating separation. We’ve been conditioned to look to the leaders of our countries for guidance and to doctors to tell us how to manage our own health. We have been trained to look outward for guidance so it’s natural we would also look there for the responsibility for what has not worked in our lives. The problem with that is, if we are waiting for someone else to change for us to feel good about our lives, it can be a long wait indeed.

We are all experiencing an evolutionary shift, whether it is conscious or not; we are charged with stepping into our authenticity and claiming our true nature. What does that mean? How does one do that? What does that look like? What’s the first step? In sorting through my own relationship I was asked where to begin. I had to think about that. From my perspective there is a very logical first step we can all choose to take. It is this. . . NO BLAME. Do not blame anyone for anything, anytime. Do not blame another for your happiness, do not blame another for your fears and burdens. When you blame another you have taken the victim stance, where you think you have given your power away to them. This is actually a lie we tell ourselves because no one really gains or loses power in this. As counter intuitive as it seems our freedom lies in responsibility.

Taking complete responsibility for choosing this life of experience to come into, frees us to find the blessings in it. The parents we were born to, the family structure we chose and each person who has come into this experience, are all volunteers we chose to include, to form our desired experience. We believe we have free will. I believe that our free will was exercised before we came into this incarnation, that we knew from that perspective what experience we desired and how best to go about it. We also knew that this life was going to be a drop in the bucket in the grand scheme of the time space continuum and that any suffering that we endured would be the means to experience.

When we stop blaming others we stand in our own power. We are God Force with all that that indicates. We cannot claim the victim and God Force at the same time. The victim is definitely not our authentic self! When we understand that everything that shows up in this life shows up FOR us, not AGAINST us, we begin to understand that every event is a blessing waiting to be recognized. If you were abandoned as a child, did it lend you strength to stand on your own and count on yourself? A friend was beaten so badly by his father that he would leave his body. In adulthood he can astral project at will and that assists him with his work helping others to heal. Myself, both my parents passed away in my early twenties, as I was becoming a mother myself. It was hard at the time, but in maturity I see that they departed when I had the strength to handle it and left me free from the worry of what their futures held.

As I see friends who are having to make the decisions for their parents about taking away car keys, nursing homes or maybe in home care, or finances, I see that I am free from all those things and have the utmost compassion for those who witness and wait for what will be next with their parents.

When we stop pointing fingers we are free to see the blessings that we already have, that is the doorway to gratitude. Sometimes it’s hard to see what there is to have gratitude about, if that is how you are feeling, start with your breath, your hearing, your sight, your ability to walk, the ability to read.

Another facet of embracing ourselves as God/Goddess is to serve the same function for ourselves that we would want God to do. As we would want to lift our arms up to God and ask that our burdens and cares be taken and administered to by God, we can reach down inside of our beings and do the same.

When we have emotional responses to what the world offers, that is an indication that there is a part of ourselves that has splintered off, if you will, and is trying to get our attention and be recognized. Emotions are ways to draw our attention to the fact that there is an “orphan” waiting to be rescued, who is steering our responses. Maybe its that 3½ yr old girl who got hurt and had to be hospitalized, who didn’t understand why Mom wasn’t around while her little brother was being born. She acted out by never wanting to go to camp or face any other separation. Maybe its that 7 yr old boy that cringed when the principal said, “You’re bad!”, who acted out by trying to prove the principal right.

When we have an emotional upset we can look within and say, “Who is sad? Who is lonely?” or whatever the emotion you are feeling is. As it has been set forth by THEO, you will get the impression of an age. You can see, acknowledge and accept the presence of that younger one. Draw that little one to your heart and tell them you are sorry for not recognizing them before. Thank them for holding this feeling for you all this time and for getting your attention so you could heal it. Tell that younger one that you love her very much and you will take her with you always so that she will know how loved she is and never be alone again. Parent that inner child and allow her to grow to the level of the adult.

For each emotional response there is a part of ourselves acting out to be claimed. If we regard each response as a sign post to show us our way back to ourselves, then we can progressively heal ourselves. We will come to the point that we are no longer feeling ruled by our emotions and can move forward by choice in creation instead of hesitating in reaction.

When we take full responsibility for all that is, find gratitude for the blessings we have already received and claim the parts of ourselves that have held hurt, then we step into our full role as Creator in our own lives. Just as our children are formed from parts of us and generally have our capabilities to draw from with even more potential than we have, likewise we are formed from God Force with like capabilities and infinite potential to Co Create our lives as part of All that is. When we accept and step into this truth we are whole, authentic and unlimited and are at cause for each following step into what comes next. No longer questioning, “Why is this happening to me?”

Photo by Victoria Willoughby

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I was born and raised a Central New Yorker but lived 18 yrs. in Va Bch, VA. I am the mother of two young men, who are 29 and 9 yrs. of age. I have been doing Reflexology since I was 11 yrs old, I have been a teaching Reiki Master for 12 yrs and have been Dr. Mom for my family using therapeutic grade essential oils as our medicine for 7 yrs. Having come from a functional family but living many years in a megalopolis combined with many years of being a catalyst for healing, gives me a varied point of view. Perspective is one of my favorite playgrounds! If you’d like a consultation for Reiki or aromatherapy or soul integration/inner child play please feel free to contact me at vaw4beacon *at* yahoo.com, Blessings for your highest and best, Vicki Willoughby.

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About Vicki

I was born and raised a Central New Yorker but lived 18 yrs. in Va Bch, VA. I am the mother of two young men, who are 32and 12 yrs. of age. I have been doing Reflexology since I was 11 yrs old, I have been a teaching Reiki Master for 15 yrs and have been Dr. Mom for my family using therapeutic grade essential oils as our medicine for 10 yrs. Having come from a functional family but living many years in a megalopolis combined with many years of being a catalyst for healing, gives me a varied point of view. Perspective is one of my favorite playgrounds! If you'd like a consultation for Reiki or aromatherapy please feel free to contact me at vaw4beacon@yahoo.com.

3 thoughts on “Begin with the Blame Games

  1. I love love love this! That old saying about whenever you point fingers you have three pointing back at you is so very true. It’s sometimes easier to point a finger than to admit we were at fault, but taking responsibility is so freeing! Thank you for this reminder, Vicki 🙂

  2. Pingback: who’s responsible for blaming? (in sweat lodge criminal case) « JRFibonacci's blog: partnering with reality

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