Hearing someone say something like “I’m picking a bad vibe” isn’t nearly as strange sounding as it may have been several years ago because the notion of everything as energy is much more generally accepted in our culture. It is often a simple, subtle shift you may not even be able to put your finger on right away, but we have all met people we liked or didn’t like right away because something about them seemed to “click” with us. Somehow and on varying degrees of intensity, we all pick up on the energy in the room, good, bad, or indifferent.
Growing in my understanding of oneness means that while I truly have a level of love and gratitude for all of life, I also have become more aware of a sensitivity to emotional energy and am finding myself less tolerant of what sometimes feels like downright violent abuse to me.
Too many of us are walking around feeling as if we are in a bubble, doing what we want, when we want without consideration of how it may affect others. I think it is often just a byproduct of immaturity and being unaware of the bigger picture. I remember my father telling me something when I was a teenager that stayed with me throughout my life. He quoted the phrase; ”No man is an island.” At the time, I thought he was referring only to what the neighbors might be saying if they saw me kissing that boy in my backyard, but as I grew up, I understood the wider implications. Our connections to each other mean that what we do, even if it is not intended to affect another person, often does just that.
There is another popular cultural belief that releasing negative emotions is good for you. The mantra states “Better out than in,” as if intestinal gas and powerful negative emotions were equally as offensive. I can assure you without a doubt in my mind that when you scream out of sudden personal frustration in a public place, the repercussions are disproportionate to that lighthearted belief.
I assure you, my friends, I would much rather breathe in the nastiest fart you can produce than be left to wander around in a red cloud of rage that someone leaves behind in a sudden tantrum. Your fart will dissipate in a few minutes at most. The emotional collateral left behind lingers on for much longer. The offensiveness I feel from the uncontrolled negative outbursts gets soaked up in me like water in a sponge and it makes me feel nauseous and feel victimized. Even when I KNOW I am not responsible for the emotions hanging in the room, I feel crappy after this exposure, and it takes me a while, sometimes hours, to squeegee it out.
It is fine with me if the emotional outburst is pleasant as this can be contagious joy. Positive emotions shared are pleasant and appreciated. Negative ones, even somber brooding, is just as contagious, but so much more offensive to me, and then I find myself wallowing around in your misery, which is neither warranted nor appreciated.
My father was right. No man (or woman) is an island. What each of us does has an effect on everyone else we come into contact with, directly or indirectly. Frankly, I have enough of my own junk to deal with thank you very much, and I would rather not be subjected to your reckless littering. Children get a free pass because they are children and I can more easily see they are not old enough to be in control, but as adults we need to be more responsible for what we spew.
If you find you are suddenly overwhelmed with negative emotion, please do the kind thing and release it somewhere privately. Scream into a pillow in your car if you must, but please don’t come into my space and disperse it as if there is no consequence. I can most assuredly tell you there is direct consequence and the results are awful. Wanting to be treated as an adult means you behave responsibly like an adult.
I am getting to such an age that I am no longer as tolerant of feeling victimized by emotions, whether they belong to me or not. Take it outside. Don’t bring it to me. I don’t want it. It is much harder for me to release it than it is obviously for you, and I don’t like feeling miserable any more than you do.
Be responsible for the energy you bring into the room. It lingers there far after you are gone and I am tired of having to clean it up.
I always re-read what I write. I have taken a few moments to go back over what I have written thus far and I laugh to myself feeling my own anger and frustration in the words above. Even though it makes me feel a little hypocritical, I am going to submit this post anyway, because much of this needs to be said. Often times we act in error because we are unaware of our mistake. I beseech you, my reader, to heed my words and at the very least be cognizant of your actions and the energy you release on others.
Spread joy, peace and love for all of life, yourself included. I guess that is what this post is really about for me. This is me standing up for myself, saying, hey, I’m right here. What you do matters and affects me in ways you haven’t even considered. I do this out of self- love and protection as much as it is to educate en masse.
Thank you for your time and attention. You may now go on about your business.
Have a wonderful day.
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I am a 43 year old mother of 3, living in Florida with my partner and youngest child. Like the mythological phoenix, I have been reborn out of the ashes of my former way of life and have, for the last several years, set out on an exploration of self expression through visual art and creative writing. I am immensely grateful to feel a part of every living thing in existence and the emergence of a growing evolution of consciousness within and throughout. I am interested in all aspects of energy healing and spiritual transformation and have just recently become a student of Reiki. I understand there is always a choice and I try to choose love over fear at every turn. I am grateful for all of the other women in this group and for their ever present support and guidance. Jennifer Bothast