You Bring Out the Mexican in Me



When we are on a path of self discovery and enlightenment, or even if we are not, we may be tempted to hide our ‘dark side’, our shadow and deny the existence of guilt, obsessive love, of overwhelming desire, attachment, cruelty, manipulation and the darkness of our hearts…

I have been looking at Debbie Ford’s shadow work, ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hPOHY2lSoJc&feature=share ; http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfocK7bYkes&NR=1 ), and it has been very revealing.

Rather than push our darkness under the surface, we can shine a light on it, we can use our inner bitch, our inner siren and inner diva, and we can acknowledge and accept it.

I am posting this gorgeous poem as a celebration of our dark side.  We are all things, the sinner and the saint, the whore and the virgin, the divine and the diabolical, (check out this sexy shadow song too…http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9u_YY5MOzA4)

With love, ellen xx

You Bring Out the Mexican in Me by Sandra Cisneros

You bring out the Mexican in me.
The hunkered thick dark spiral.
The core of a heart howl.
The bitter bile.
The tequila lágrimas on Saturday all
through next weekend Sunday.
You are the one I’d let go the other loves for,
surrender my one-woman house.
Allow you red wine in bed,
even with my vintage lace linens.
Maybe. Maybe.
For you.

You bring out the Dolores del Río in me.
The Mexican spitfire in me.
The raw navajas, glint and passion in me.
The raise Cain and dance with the rooster-footed devil in me.
The spangled sequin in me.
The eagle and serpent in me.
The mariachi trumpets of the blood in me.
The Aztec love of war in me.
The fierce obsidian of the tongue in me.
The berrinchuda, bien-cabrona in me.
The Pandora’s curiosity in me.
The pre-Columbian death and destruction in me.
The rainforest disaster, nuclear threat in me.
The fear of fascists in me.
Yes, you do. Yes, you do.

You bring out the colonizer in me.
The holocaust of desire in me.
The Mexico City ’85 earthquake in me.
The Popocatepetl/Ixtacchiuatl in me.
The tidal wave of recession in me.
The Agustín Lara hopeless romantic in me.
The barbacoa taquitos on Sunday in me.
The cover the mirrors with cloth in me.
Sweet twin. My wicked other,
I am the memory that circles your bed nights,
that tugs you taut as moon tugs ocean.
I claim you all mine,
arrogant as Manifest Destiny.
I want to rattle and rent you in two.
I want to defile you and raise hell.
I want to pull out the kitchen knives,
dull and sharp, and whisk the air with crosses.

Me sacas lo mexicana en mi,
like it or not, honey.
You bring out the Uled-Nayl in me.
The stand-back-white-bitch-in me.
The switchblade in the boot in me.
The Acapulco cliff diver in me.
The Flecha Roja mountain disaster in me.
The dengue fever in me.
The ¡Alarma! murderess in me.
I could kill in the name of you and think
it worth it. Brandish a fork and terrorize rivals,
female and male, who loiter and look at you,
languid in you light. Oh,
I am evil. I am the filth goddess Tlazoltéotl.
I am the swallower of sins.
The lust goddess without guilt.
The delicious debauchery. You bring out
the primordial exquisiteness in me.
The nasty obsession in me.
The corporal and venial sin in me.
The original transgression in me.

Red ocher. Yellow ocher. Indigo. Cochineal.
Piñon. Copal. Sweetgrass. Myrrh.
All you saints, blessed and terrible,
Virgen de Guadalupe, diosa Coatlicue,
I invoke you.
Quiero ser tuya. Only yours. Only you.
Quiero amarte. Aarte. Amarrarte.
Love the way a Mexican woman loves. Let
me show you. Love the only way I know how.

~Sandra Cisneros, 1994

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Dr. Ellen Anne Burns is an actress, writer, mother, teacher, and student, not necessarily in that order. She was brought up in Belfast, Northern Ireland, where she has just completed her PhD in Applied Drama. She believes in a holistic spiritual practice, involving meditation, self love and discovery, learning and practising forgiveness, gratitude and love every day. Ellen wishes to support and guide others on their own journey of self and love, especially with a view to romantic relationships. She is a mentor on Gabrielle Bernstein’s HerFuture.com and is thrilled to be one of the founders members of The Daily Sisterhood Blog. If you wish to contact Ellen, please message her here and she will respond as soon as she can.

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5 thoughts on “You Bring Out the Mexican in Me

  1. This is so important to remember Ellen. We judge ourselves so harshly for the fact that shining the light makes shadows. It is a natural inseparable outcome, embracing it is so important! Thank you!

  2. thanks Laura, I know, aren’t they wonderful and dark and light all at the same time – it’s interesting what you say about emptiness, as one of my next blogs is about learning to love the emptiness we all feel at times! thanks for your comments! x

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