The three residents in every woman
Part 4 (to understand you need to have read previous parts posted on April 17,26 and 29)
After the little girl communicated what she wants from ‘him’… the woman silently hiding in her romantic dreams…the mother missing a helping hand…trying to reprogram the thought patterns that kept the little girl and the woman stuck in their pain…trying to help them handle the feelings of rejection…
I thought it over for some time.
Then I decided to let the mother bring in some solutions.
In the afternoon, after the pancakes, she sat down for a talk with both, the woman and the child.
OK, you kids, so you want to play. You want to be happy. You want to have some tender loving care, to have fun, and so on.
Look out there. Isn’t the world a big playground to you? Why are you frustrating yourself because somebody isn’t there to play with you the way you want it?
Aren’t there a lot of other somebodies?
It is very important for kids to play. In fact it’s more important to keep on playing, to keep having fun, than with whom you play.
When you’re happy, does it really matter whom you’re happy with?
When you’re in love, does it matter that he is not the person you were in love with five years ago? Why don’t you just enjoy the feeling?
Of course we want to play with the people who are special to us right now, but that doesn’t mean that we cannot play if they don’t want to play with us.
If they don’t want to play, don’t go punishing yourself in addition to it by not playing at all. Go on, express yourself, express the child, express the woman, and see what happens.
At that moment of the conversation the child starts to play with her napkin and the woman looks angry and confused.
“Do you mean that I have to go out and make love to anybody?! I can’t do that!” she says.
“No, I don’t, but you have to go out there and make love to You!”
The child looks sad now.
“But nobody wants to play with me,…”
The mother answers: That’s not the point, the point is that you have to want to play, no matter what, no matter with who, on your own, start playing, don’t look who’s there to play with, play, and if you really need someone, someone will come along.
Something new is happening in the eyes of the woman and the child now. Hope starts to grow, together with confusion.
They still have one last argument to challenge.
“But we love him, we cannot take this love to someone else!
Are you saying that we have to stop loving him? We refuse to do that, he is such a beautiful person, we don’t want to cheat on him, we don’t want to cheat ourselves, and we don’t want to shut off our feelings.
We don’t want to loose our love for him.”
Stop, stop, stop, who said that you couldn’t love him while loving yourself, or loving anybody else?
There are no limits to love. Go on, love him, love him twice as much as until today, love him endlessly, he deserves every bit of it, but don’t stop living when he is not there to express yourself to. Don’t stop playing if he doesn’t feel like playing with you, he wouldn’t want you to.
Look at him, I can see him standing in the house of his soul right now. He is laughing, he encourages you to play. He loves to see you happy. He never said you are not allowed to play when he’s not around, he doesn’t want you to cheat on your happiness.
“But, when we can play with anybody, he can too, and maybe he will find somebody who he likes to play with so much, that he never wants to play with us anymore?!”
O,o, major, problem!
And what will happen when you find somebody you like to play with more than with him?
Did you believe it was possible to meet somebody like him a year ago?
So you made a mistake?
So is it possible that you might, just might, meet somebody even nicer to play with than he is? Like maybe somebody who wants to play with you a lot more than he does?
Somebody who likes to make love to you, somebody who even likes to help me with baking the pancakes sometimes?
Would you want somebody like that in you life?
“But he has to go well with the job you have to do for uncle Mel, mom!”
Of course love!
So, if you agree that it would be nice for us to meet somebody like this, even if it wasn’t to be him, do you agree that he has the right to meet somebody he likes to play with a lot, to be happy with, even if it wouldn’t be us?
“Can we burn a candle, to ask the angels, to help us to sort this out, mom?”
Of course, my child, let’s do it together.
“Is it OK to send him our love now?”
Sure it is.
So the mother, the child and the woman are sitting, in front of a burning candle now.
Another major attachment is burning away.
The fire of the candle becomes a written message in light.
It says: Thank you my love !
To be continued in a few days…
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In the past 51 years I walked, ran, crawled… many roads on an ongoing journey to discover the inevitable freedom of the soul, the joy of being alive, the value of the teacher we call pain, the depth of human wisdom and the meaning of human madness. I have been deeply touched by the kindness in the eyes, hearts, words and helping hands of friends, teachers, soulmates, … even strangers. I have been all of that and all of them. The most valuable lesson I have ever learned is that ‘there’s nothing to fear’. For the next 51 years I am committed to share this awareness in everything I do. It’s a joy to share this blog with sisters so close to my soul and touching your life with my words fills me with deep gratitude. May these words carry the love from my heart to yours. Loesja Klimczak