The three residents in every woman
One of the most important transformations in my life was the discovery and healing of my ‘inner child’. In spiritual terms we all have an inner child of course and there are really many wonderful inner child healing methods. On my own healing journey I found it helpful to realize how my inner child was surrounded by two other residents of what I would call ‘my inner family’. Each of them had an important influence on what was happening to my inner child.
Next to that ‘inner family’ there was my mind that made sure that the show kept on going… my mind kept my inner child with her back against the wall for many, many years.
Until, one day… my mind stepped aside and the healing process rolled like a snowball down the hill.
To handle that process I wrote a script of the inner-family discussions that took place and by making the transformation visible and tangible I learned a lot about the mechanisms that make our inner child live the life of an orphan.
I discovered that every member of my inner family had a different agenda that didn’t go well with my inner child, and that they used my mind to make sure that everything stayed as it was, that the little girl inside of me could not raise her voice.
So once the mind stepped aside a little the faces of my inner family became visible. Next to the little girl there was ‘the mother’ and the ‘woman’ and to both my little girl was a burden.
As the mother and the woman refused to take care of the little girl for many years – subconsciously – I had been trying to find a man (a daddy) to put my little girl on his lap to take care of her. It never worked!
Most men were not interested in taking care of the little girl, most of them were interested to have a good time with the woman, or to be taken care of by the mother. Over and over again my little girl ended up standing in the cold rain, outside, not cared for, invisible.
Repetition is a good teacher, so I started to recognize that pattern of putting the responsibility for my little girl with my partners, but as I didn’t know how to solve the problem I just kept on doing it.
Until one day I fell deeply in love with a man who had a mission in his life, a mission I valued so much that in my heart I felt that I could not possibly put the weight of my wounded little girl on his shoulders and complicate his life with my expectations. I loved him too much to do that to him, and he would not allow it anyway. For the first time I was aware of the inner patterns before getting disappointed. I had to find a different solution, so I embarked on a deep journey.
Of course this pattern of ‘not cared for little girl’ was something that was programmed by my childhood. The psychiatric disturbed personality of my mother in combination with an emotionally absent father left my little girl only in the care of the guardian angel picture on my bedroom wall, and to my perception he wasn’t very helpful either.
I arrived at the crossroads of my healing process with a strong caretaker motivation. (I already was working as a healer, a counselor and as light worker) I had offered my life in service to the vibration of Lord Melchisedek (who is the ‘general manager’- vibration of light workers) and who I playfully used to call ‘Uncle Mel’.
In this and my following postings step by step I will be sharing the script of that healing process and this introduction should be helpful in understanding the full scenario.
It is my wish that by playing with this scenario you will be able to recognize your own inner family and that the sharing of my emotional process will encourage you to give your inner child this gift of healing too. Of course we all have our individual journeys and patterns, but I believe that by connecting to the transformation I went through emotionally you can find the key to your own inner family and help them heal.
In part one I share the last stage of ‘letting go of the imprisonment of the little girl by the mind’, and taking the risk to be hurt one more time, scared to death, but still hoping that ‘the man of my heart’ will be nice to her…
Safe, and busy hanging out in the cold winds and the rain, it wouldn’t get into trouble
anymore, and no one could touch it, to hurt it, ever again.
Totally unexpected a feeling of spring came and the tree woke up to the warm and gentle glow.
The heart tried to figure out what to do, and so did the mind.
The blossoms of new life started to push the heart, to let go of the branch.
I was scared, it was scared, the mind was confused, the sun kept on shining, the life inside kept on waking up.
Then the heart started to fall, like a leaf, slowly moving down.
Feeling strange, like autumn, in the middle of springtime, the summer yet to come…
So scared to fall, but even more scared to reach the ground, to lay down, and die forever.
It seemed to last an eternity before, from the deepest source of silence, I heard my heart softly whisper its one and only wish, like a prayer to my loved one …
“Please, please, reach out your hand to catch me, before I reach the ground,… if you can…” !
To be continued in a few days …
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEB SITE?
Please do! Just be sure to include this complete blurb with it:
In the past 51 years I walked, ran, crawled… many roads on an ongoing journey to discover the inevitable freedom of the soul, the joy of being alive, the value of the teacher we call pain, the depth of human wisdom and the meaning of human madness. I have been deeply touched by the kindness in the eyes, hearts, words and helping hands of friends, teachers, soulmates, … even strangers. I have been all of that and all of them. The most valuable lesson I have ever learned is that ‘there’s nothing to fear’. For the next 51 years I am committed to share this awareness in everything I do. It’s a joy to share this blog with sisters so close to my soul and touching your life with my words fills me with deep gratitude. May these words carry the love from my heart to yours. Loesja Klimczak – http://www.mayanatlantyda.be