Do I fear death?
I fear death’s consequences. I do not fear death itself. I actually love death! It is part of existence. That doesn’t mean that I know what follows. Yet whatever that is, it will be an outcome of my life, an outcome of my choices and decisions that would be when my time comes, already made!
I mean, at that time, I won’t have choices or decisions to make. I won’t be required to think, take decisions or adapt to misunderstandings! The time of the challenging tests will be over. What will be left is carrying the responsibility of my exerted efforts and take that to a new phase of the journey!
Death is a breakthrough. Death is liberty from life restrictions, from the body and its demands. Does the soul have no demands?!
Death is one natural element of life and the beauty of death is as relative as anything is in life!
I mentioned that I fear the consequences of death. I will be missing my ability to write and my giving nature! And I fear loneliness! It’s interesting how what I fear in my death is what I fear in my life!
Death is not a disaster or a catastrophe like some people think or claim. It is related to sadness, tears and melancholy. It is related to rituals and emotions of those who are still alive. All of this is not related to death itself but to the fact of ‘missing’ and the emotion of ‘missing’ or its pretense!
Life includes news and deeds that require sadness more than death: the lack of sensing, the lack of constructive logic, the frozen hearts and dead souls. Death could be a mercy and a salvation in some cases.
Not fearing death does not mean not fearing anything. I fear pain and I fear beginnings as they are related to the unknown. Any beginning opens the door to the unknown, the unexpected, to darkness waiting for its dawn.
From where does such contradiction come: fear of the unknown, love and full trust in God?
Nothing is fixed in life, even loving and trusting God. Yet when they disappear or decrease, it is only to confirm stronger love and trust as they come back.
Fear and weakness abuse such chances to dominate. Yet being aware of that, we should not allow them that chance.
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I’m Neveen El-Gamal, an Egyptian 39 years old single mom. I’m a writer, a Reiki and an Emotrance practitioner. I have a published poetry book in Arabic in August 2010 titled “Freeing You from Me”.
I am very grateful to have met the lovely women in the sisterhood group and participate in The Daily Sisterhood.