I wonder what people would have to say if they knew that every time they criticized someone or complained about anything that they were telling on themselves. We’ve all heard the saying, “People accuse others of what they’re guilty of themselves.”
Over time I have learned to hear most things backward. When someone says, “You don’t love me enough!” what I hear is, “I don’t love myself enough!” When someone says “She spends way too much money!” I hear, “I spend way too much money!” When a person says, “He smokes cigarettes like they were a pacifier!” I hear “I hope no one recognizes my pacifier!”
If you listen carefully to the words people are saying they will show you the truth even when they think what they are directing your attention to is the opposite.
Conversely people will say something thinking it will have the opposite effect of their words or as if they expected their words would have no effect. Someone who’s frustrated might say,”I need a God damned job!” not realizing that they are asking for their job to be damned before they could even start. When saying, “Have a great day!” to a friend the response was, “I’m going to try like Hell!” Well, how great a day would you have in Hell? Someone else was heard to say, “God forbid I should win the lottery!” Well that’s a way to have your numbers come up, or the exact opposite.
There are so many manners of speaking that don’t serve us that are habitual and the people who use them seldom if ever consider the actual gravity of their words and they are the first to complain when their spoken words come true. Awareness can feel very glaring like you’re policing yourself all the time but the results are definitely worth it.
When I feel like criticizing someone’s actions, instead of doing that, I’ll ask them why they chose an action, then instead of accusing, of something I may not understand I come to more understanding about it. I consider my original thought and ask myself what I’m doing that is similar to their action that would make it so noticeable to me.
After years of self policing I still slip and because I have offered awareness for so many in my circle, they help me to realize when I’m not thinking before I speak. Thank you to all of you, you know who you are, you are my angels! When I take the time to really consider my feelings and say exactly what I mean there is so much less misunderstanding and I regret my words so much more seldom.
If you’re thinking right now that you don’t have the time to pay attention to every word you say and its intent then rest assured you have paid the price many times for your lack of consideration on the inside and the outside. This is true especially with our kids I think. You might say, “I don’t care.” When what is meant is “I trust you to make the choice yourself.” Not caring means something entirely different and kids don’t always know what that difference is.
Words are an agreement we use for communication, a tool if you will, but like tools, when used as toys and played around with, words can be hurtful. What was said by the Buddha I find to be universally true. . . “You won’t be punished for your anger, you will be punished by your anger.” I have been punished enough and I have punished others enough. Have you? If not, when would NOW be a good time to respect your own words?
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I was born and raised a Central New Yorker but lived 18 yrs. in Va Bch, VA. I am the mother of two young men, who are 30 and 10 yrs. of age. I have been doing Reflexology since I was 11 yrs old, I have been a teaching Reiki Master for 12 yrs and have been Dr. Mom for my family using therapeutic grade essential oils as our medicine for 7 yrs. Having come from a functional family but living many years in a megalopolis combined with many years of being a catalyst for healing, gives me a varied point of view. Perspective is one of my favorite playgrounds! If you’d like a consultation for Reiki or aromatherapy or soul integration/inner child play please feel free to contact me at vaw4beacon *at* yahoo.com, Blessings for your highest and best, Vicki Willoughby.