Breaking out of the Darkness


There are moments in my life where I feel very alone.  That is an illusion, I know.  I have a lot of amazing people in my life.  I have a lot of people close to me that love me and support me and are there for me.  And yet, there are still moments where I feel alone, and that is when the sadness and darkness creeps in.

I know at the very core of my being that I am being called in a direction that is slowly revealing itself to me.  Sometimes as I take steps forward, it feels like the people closest to me think I am a little bit “out there”.  I feel it in their voices and I see it in their eyes, even if they don’t say so.  When I see this lack of understanding or lack of faith, fear and doubt have a way of creeping in.  I feel myself shrinking and I want to curl up in a fetal position and cry.  My confidence shakes and I question my intuition.  “Am I really going in the right direction, and if not what is it I am being called to do or be? Creator, tell me which way to go!!”

When I am in this space I start to feel trapped, like there are chains holding me down. I feel disconnected from everyone and everything.  I am not where I want to be.  I resist.  I fight to break free.  I need to breathe!!!

It is in these moments that I find the need to dig really deep for courage and the resolve to stay the course, to create space to pay attention to the voice deep within that is calling me.  The stubborn side of me reveals itself in these moments.   I dig my heels in, in spite of it all.

…And then I receive a text message. My partner sees dragonflies all around him.  This always gives him a sense that I am with him.  It pulls me back into feeling connected again and my energy shifts.  I have received a gift. The light is shining through. I feel hope.  I feel joy. I feel love. 

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Leah Schroeder is a Reiki Practitioner and Certified ThetaHealer® www.lifeforcehealingservices.ca and Financial Advisor. “I was born and raised in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. For most of my 46 years this has been and currently is the place I call home. I have been working as a Financial Advisor for the past 15 years educating people about their finances, helping them restructure and reduce debt, invest for the future and properly protect their families. A strong sense that there is something more I am supposed to do in the world, a fascination with energy and a series of intuitive nudges has led me to begin practising Reiki and now ThetaHealing®. I have a desire to learn and practise other healing modalities, as well as serve children and empower young women around the world. I am grateful for the opportunity to share my thoughts and stories with you.”

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About Leah Schroeder

Leah Schroeder is a Reiki Master, Integrated Energy Therapy® Master-Instructor, and ThetaHealing® Practitioner, www.lifeforcehealingservices.ca . “I was born and raised in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada. For most of my life this has been and currently is the place I call home. I spent 17 years working in Financial Services. A strong sense that there is something more I am supposed to do in the world, a fascination with energy and a series of intuitive nudges have led me to begin practising Reiki , ThetaHealing®, and IET®. I have a desire to learn, practice, and teach other healing modalities, empowering others to help shift the consciousness of humanity. I am grateful for the opportunity to share my thoughts and stories with you.”

3 thoughts on “Breaking out of the Darkness

  1. Hi. Your experience is so very close to my own. Awakening and starting the walk along the spiritual path that is opening up is a lonely one; like no one else seems to understand or have the same intuition and insight. I am also a Reiki Master and there have been times that I feel I must be looney or delusional at the energy I see around people or the connection to the stars and the moon….and the trees. Thank you for letting me know that I am not alone as I think I am 🙂

  2. Leah, your experience mirrors mine as well. Some days feel like “Nobody loves me, everybody hates me, I guess I’ll just eat worms!” And then the clouds part and the light breaks through and I laugh at that kid in me that said that and take her out to play! Thank you for your words!

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