Sometimes


 

Sometimes things just seem to suck don’t they?

Blunt, but true.

I want to get on my computer and write a post about how wonderful it feels to be connected, to let go of everything, of all identification with ego and just BE.

Well, my dear readers, that isn’t always the easiest thing to do for me, even though I understand the truth in recognizing love and an all encompassing oneness with all there is.

Sometimes our old patterns get us stuck in a cycle of anxiety and fear and depression as we look at all that is wrong in the world. The news media seldom reports the beauty around us, but we are bombarded with violence and chaos, anarchy and destruction.

The recent Colorado massacre in a movie theater is certainly a riveting example. I sat there watching the newscast with the reporter interviewing the survivors as they recalled the terror they felt just hours before, and the tears simply streamed down my face. My heart aches. I ache not just for the people that were there in that theater or directly affected by the loss of a loved one, but I ache and cry for each of us, that we are so regularly subjected to this insanity that the audience actually believed for a few moments that the violence they were subjected to was part of a scene in that movie. I ache because, we, as a society, are so numb to this extreme destruction, that we actually pay money to witness it as “entertainment.”

What does that say about our culture?

That is the big picture and I think it’s important to take a moment to ponder the depth and pervasiveness of it in our daily lives. But that isn’t even the main topic for my blog today. What I am sitting here writing about while I try to finish my morning coffee and get myself into the shower and into work, is the “suckiness” of the details of daily living. Being aware of the big picture doesn’t make me immune to the nagging fears and stressors I am facing today.

And it isn’t just me in my own little bubble my friends. It seems everyone I talk to lately is going through some personal upheaval in their lives. Violence and chaos exists in our relationships, anarchy and destruction in our politics, our religion, and our financial affairs. It is in the big stuff AND the little stuff. The suffering is everywhere and I feel it sometimes like a wave that washes over me, creating a sense of overwhelm and fatigue. Sometimes I just want to say hey! And call a time out and start over.

It is interesting that some of us are more sensitive to this weight than others. Maybe we so often just go through the motions because that is honestly the easier thing to do. We pacify ourselves with drugs or alcohol or sex, or whatever it is that works to numb us, even just for a little while because being open and exposed to all the pain in the world is too much.

I’m sorry that I’m weighing you down today. These blogs are supposed to be uplifting. But I am dedicated to my truth and in all honesty, this is where my thoughts are today.  And I know from talking with others, that this is where so many of us are along the path right now. And it seems ridiculous to gloss over it and pretend that everything is easy and rosy and wonderful.

Someone told me recently that without the rain there wouldn’t be rainbows. This sounds trite, but it is true. Without experiencing the darkness we cannot recognize the beauty, the ecstasy even, of the light. And so I drink my morning coffee and I pour my heart out in this blog and I wait for the dawn.

I guess maybe the lesson here for you and me is that we just breathe through it all. I remind us that indeed, this too, shall pass. We are growing. I am writing and you are reading here for a reason, even if we don’t readily recognize it.

No one said the birth process was easy.

Today, as I am writing and you are reading, just know that it isn’t just you. There is drama everywhere. High drama is churning up a lot of sucky emotions and reactions and suffering.

Today I invite us to remember to hold each other in our hearts and breathe and let it play out. Maybe even recognizing our oneness isn’t all butterflies and rainbows. Maybe these are our growing pains and even though it feels better to be numb to it, nothing changes if we don’t own our strength and face the negative crap together and walk through it.

We are all suffering in one way or another, little stuff or big stuff; it is ever present and few, if any, seem immune. Feel it..look at it …and then allow it to pass without judgement.          

I have a friend that often says “It is what it is.”

Shine a light on the suffering in our lives, look at it, dissect it so that we can learn from it and then travel on. And above all, I think it is important to always remember that we are not alone. Not ever. For better or worse, dear reader, we are in this together.

Namaste means “The spirit in me recognizes the spirit in you.” It’s quite possibly the most beautiful expression I have ever heard.

Another dear friend of mine recently told me something important. A catch phrase perhaps that holds more truth than any other I had known. “If you can feel it, you can heal it,” she said. I think that is so beautiful and poignant.

And so I say to you, hold my hand; hold a space in your heart for each of us. The suffering will end when we learn from it and have decided we have had enough of it. And then we walk forward lighter and perhaps a little more awake and connected than we were before. That is my truth. We are so much better than we have been led to believe!  We are in this world but not of it. This is temporary. This suffering is only there as long as we agree to allow it to be there.

We ARE in this together. We have each other to lean on and turn a light on in the darkness a little at a time.

 

Namaste

 

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